Letting go of the person you used to be

I’ve mentioned this before, and I’m sure I’ll mention it again, but a huge component of change is remembering to let it happen.


Change, by the way, is inevitable. If it’s involuntary (or someone else’s idea), resisting it can be downright painful.

But a lot of times we resist changing even when we say that’s what we want, and sometimes the resistance is almost unconscious. We simply forget to let go of the person we used to be.

For example, as noted yesterday, you might have an intention of living love. But there’s this little part of you that is either afraid or … well, afraid to actually love (tomorrow: trust). So we fall back in the habit of judgment, as though being critical protects us. Take the homeless person begging for change on the corner. When I started tonglen practice, I found this was an easy place for me to start, although it got tougher when I stopped making up stories about why he was there. Regardless, many of us find it safer to judge him for being there. Not necessarily negatively—judgment is just another word for making up stories.

At any rate, remembering to practice, just as with any other change, involves letting go of the person who didn’t practice. Getting up at 5:30 in the morning to write involves letting go of the person who slept until seven. Quitting smoking means letting go of being the person who reaches for a cigarette.

And so forth.

One practice to bring in here is to consciously let go of that person with a breath. Acknowledge that at this moment, you might want to be that person, but you don’t have to be. Acknowledge that you aren’t the same person you were ten years ago (no one is), and then release being the person you were five minutes ago.

Expansion = love

If you practice, and then pay attention, you can feel your heart expanding.


Yup. Just like the Grinch.

It’s a neat trick, and I highly recommend it. It starts by actively practicing love, and actively practicing joy, which I will admit can be tough sometimes. Feel free to start with the easy moments and work your way up to the tough ones.

Aside from having to remember to practice (more on this tomorrow), this is far easier than it sounds, though. Active love and active joy involve taking time to step back and find those things in ordinary circumstances. It also means taking time to step back and release—or simply fail to attach to—those moments that don’t promote love and joy.

Instead, attach to expansiveness. Not in the sense that it becomes an addiction, because therein lies a danger of attaching instead to repelling those things that fall the other way, but rather in the sense that you automatically seek the expansiveness, inclusive of love, joy, and compassion, in every moment.

Love is expansive. Remember your tonglen practice—we breathe in that which is tight, painful, anguished; we breathe out the space of love, which feels like space, feels expansive and glowing. In the hardest of circumstances, in the most mundane of tensions, in the most ordinary exhaustion, we can still take a single breath that begins to turn things around. But…the practice isn’t in order to turn things around. The practice is to bring all of those experiences into our practice of experiencing life as love. In other words, we don’t do this for an external goal (if I practice breathing love and expansiveness into everything, my life will become problem-free), we do it because the goal (in this case) is the practice of love—and trust me, your life won’t suddenly become problem-free! I’ve found, though, that when problems arise, they’re a lot less stressful, which is an excellent bonus.

Weekend practice: back to synchronicity

What happens when synchronicity doesn't pan out? That is, you have this intention, or this desire, or even a big fat clue, and seemingly synchronous events are happening, and they aren't going anywhere? Now what? You're meeting people, ideas are popping, suggestions are flowing in from multiple sources, and ....nothing.


You know what? I'm not going to tell you what I think. I'm going to ask you what YOU think.

When stuff starts glowing

Saturday's major synchronicity—and this relates directly to yesterday's closing paragraph—was this: I was reading a book, and, because I'm in the middle of three on similar topics, I don't remember which one it was...something by Sanaya Roman. An exercise in this book had to do with imagining yourself infused with light, and imagining the objects around you infused with the same light. Then I went off to teach dream interpretation. I got to my location and because I was a little early, checked my Twitter feed. There was a tweet by Marianne Williamson (@marwilliamson—in case you want to follow her) suggesting imagining this same practice: infusing objects around you with light as a daily practice, throughout the day. Looks like I'm on to something. Today (I admit, this is Sunday), Hiro Boga (@hiroboga), as I'm checking to make sure I have Marianne Williamson's Twitter ID correct, is tweeting about letting your soul's presence radiate...which is also key to this practice that I've been doing. Huh. I follow these two brilliant women on Twitter for very different reasons, although the reason I'm drawn to them out of all the choices is much the same, so when they're talking about two angles of the same thing I'm investigating through someone completely different....I'm listening.


And looking to see what glows in resonance.

Resonance and synchronicity

Events update: don't forget, In Your Dreams is tonight at 7pm at 1412 Trovillion in Winter Park. Email me if you need parking information.


An event: a meeting, a piece of information, an option, an idea that is synchronous has a sort of energy about it. If you've seen the movie version of Celestine Prophecy, you may remember the scenes where things start glowing as the hero is drawn to the synchronicities that further his intentions. As a rule, when you're walking around town, you probably aren't going to see things lighting up (but see tomorrow's post), and when you're looking for synchronicities, you're paying attention to a lot of different things: instinct pulling you strongly in one direction, even though you'd planned to do something else; a chance sentence in an overheard conversation that makes you listen a little harder; dreams that seem important, even if you can't put your finger on why.

Imagine that that energy is radiating just a bit stronger because it's resonating with your intention. So whether you see it or feel it, you're tapping in because—well, I was going to compare it to a telephone that's on a party line, but then I feel old...so let's go with a search engine. You type in what you're looking for, and results are returned, the most relevant ones (or at least the ones the search engine THINKS are the most relevant) at the top. That's synchronicity (although in this case, it's manufactured synchronicity. True synchronicity would be getting a search result that gives you an answer to a question you didn't think you'd get from a computer search engine.).

On a deeper level, synchronicity brings to us events, people, ideas, and suggestions that answer bigger questions (like: why am I here, what's my soul purpose, how can I heal?) because while intention may be involved, these bigger questions relate to soul purpose, and thus the answers resonate on a soul level.

Resonance, not rejection

Several years ago, reading Jack Canfield's Success Principles, I came across this gem of advice: there is no such thing as rejection.


Sure. How does that work, again?

Well, if I remember Canfield's proposition correctly, the idea is this: we ask someone for a favor, or we ask someone on a date, or we send off that treasured manuscript or ask for advice about putting into practice a fabulous idea that will change the world (if we only knew what to do with it!), or what-have-you. And we get a 'no.' Even if it isn't accompanied by hysterical laughter, it might as well be. We're crushed. (Most of us are. Or we've been there at least once. Or we simply don't care what others think, in which case we're probably undiagnosed sociopaths and have another set of problems. Everyone's got issues. But I digress.) The thing is, we get that 'no' and we feel like we've lost something, but Canfield points out that you can't lose something you never had, so when you present the idea or invitation, the only thing 'no' does is keep you from moving forward in the way you imagined at exactly that time with that person.

Okay. I guess that works. Kind of hard to keep in mind, though, when your brain is spinning with multiple voicings of the word 'but.'

Last week, several of us were discussing our visions and how we were bringing them into being at the latest CFES meetup. One of our group had given us a visual that reflected how soul resonance might work—how we're drawn to people who resonate with us, and perhaps we merge our paths for a time, or maybe we're drawn to people for just a moment, before going on our separate ways.

And it hit me: if we can hold a vision of soul resonance, of understanding that we're drawn to each other for different times and different reasons, how might that change our feelings of being rejected, of lack, of loss? Imagine being so in touch with your soul's purpose, that you recognize that there is also purpose in every action, every meeting—and that "rejection" is just a sign that your soul isn't resonating with that person, that action. It may be that what you are doing or feeling or seeking is exactly right, but the timing isn't lining up just so, or the other people involved are resonating at a frequency that's just slightly off balance from you...so you can appreciate what is, instead of needing it to be all-important, or needing it to be what you originally thought it was.

This week's practice: acting on synchronicity

A couple of weeks ago, a friend suggested I take a particular action in regards to my interest in soul families: in essence, asking to attract more of my soul family into my daily life, and seeing what happened. It didn't occur to me until this past Saturday that several things that came into my life over the past week or ten days were directly related to the nature of my request. Because what happened isn't really the point, suffice it to say that I had a couple of resources fall into my lap, met a couple of really interesting people, and found some new practices and insights into how we can manifest our vision of the world that is becoming into the world that is.


So....now what?

Happens a lot, doesn't it? A synchronous event occurs, we are aware of it, and...we let it drop, because while the idea of synchronicity is really cool, there are any number of reasons to let it go. We're afraid to talk to that person we've run into three times in the past week (especially if we don't know them!), we hesitate to ask for a favor or the support that could result in the resources to act on the opportunity that's clearly knocking, we're afraid that...well, we're afraid. Of looking foolish, of being wrong, of all sorts of things. Sometimes, we just don't know what the next step is.

This week's practice, for me, is to find a way to move forward, even if it's the smallest of baby steps.

This week's practice: miracles

This week's practice: miracles. Noticing them, accepting them.

But what's a miracle? And how do you see them? Do you see them only when they're big and obvious, and happening to someone else? Or somewhere else? What I'm getting at is this: do you only see miracles as an observer (and I don't mean observer in the Buddhist sense), and if you see them when they're engaging you, what do they involve? Money? Lucky escapes?

I think that when we look for miracles, we may or may not see more of them, but by bringing awareness to what we think are miracles, we may find out something about ourselves in the process.

I'm taking a page out of a friend's book (so to speak) and starting a 100 day miracle project. One miracle a day expected and noted (I have a miraculous Moleskine notebook set aside for this project).

But inquiring minds want to know: what do you see as a miracle?

Accepting uncertainty: taking it off the cushion

One of the things we learn through meditation is how to sit with change. Thoughts arise and float away. Aches and pains arise, and then disappear when we release the discomfort and come back to the breath. Nothing is permanent.


Accepting impermanence, off the cushion, we're able to step back from conversations (with ourselves or others) and situations and breathe into the fact that they aren't permanent either. Even if you're stuck in traffic on I-4 at rush hour and it feels that way. We come back to the breath, and observe as the emotions we're holding release, and the situation becomes fluid. It does that, even if we try to hold on to it.

Accepting impermanence off the cushion—that is, that impermanence is the state whether we're meditating or not—we then can recognize that uncertainty is a part of impermanence.

Accepting that uncertainty is part of impermanence, we can accept it as part of the dharma—the practice off the cushion—and we can ease into NOT having to have a road map for every thing we're doing. We can accept that there's this "yes, do this" from Divine Source, and that we may not know every bit of how it's going to play out just now.

Accepting Power

So what happens when we are told we CAN do something?


A lot of people react more positively to negative attention: that is, tell them they cannot do something and they'll try everything they can think of, and then invent more ways, to prove you wrong. Right now, that's not who (or what) I'm talking about. I'm talking about those times you, in meditation, contemplation, or prayer, get a resounding "yes," and then proceed to prove the Divine wrong.

This happens less when we're looking for an answer to a question we can—and probably already have—logically answer, and more when we're being asked to break out of our current paradigm and shift into someone we don't think we've ever been before: a healer, a leader, a teacher (without a lesson plan), an artist (a writer!) who changes lives and changes reality. It's not necessarily a question of self-esteem, although it certainly can be. I think it's deeper than that: it's the idea that we don't think we're anyone special or significant and that making those kinds of changes requires that we be so.

Again, this may not be an issue of self-esteem: you may consider yourself absolutely brilliant at any number of things except this one thing you've been called to. So when you feel that yearning to do something, you reject the first things that come to mind because they're not practical, or you think you're not psychic enough, or trained enough, or have enough training, or enough spiritual practice, or whatever. And when you meditate, you hear "this is right," and then immediately react with "I'm making this up." (I am the queen of thinking I've made stuff up, so I know whereof I write.)

But this week, we're practicing acceptance. Don't bother trying to talk yourself into it. Just accept it. Now what?

This week's practice: acceptance

Note: scroll down to Sept. 2 post for upcoming events

It seems like a lot of the discussion around the idea of "acceptance" focuses on accepting the negative: obstacles, "no," etc. The idea in most people's minds seems to be that we need help going with the flow when it (the flow) isn't going the way of our expectations. Which is often true.


But that's not what I'm talking about here—or at least, not entirely.

What about accepting what we say we want, but aren't at all sure we can have (or deserve to have)?

When I was teaching Practical Magic (visualization class), I would tell my students that my first rule of manifestation was to be careful what you ask for, because you ARE going to get it. The tricky part is recognizing it.

One of the challenges with accepting a "yes" is that it doesn't always fit our expectations, although that's not always because we made assumptions that didn't play out. More often, I think, it's because we never really thought it would happen, and we aren't prepared.

This week's posts will all be about acceptance, so feel free to weigh in with comments here or on the Facebook page whenever you like (www.facebook.com/ConsciousSanity).

Upcoming events

In Your Dreams!

Dreams can be:

Interesting…frustrating…alive…forgotten…confusing…fascinating

This 2+ hour workshop is a highly interactive adventure in exploration and interpretation. We’ll discover the meaning of your dreams (and why those dream books just aren’t much help), dig into ways to consciously explore your dream world, use your dreams for communication with your highest self, get answers to your questions, and more. We’ll also overview the types of dreams, dream purpose, and lucid dreaming. Depending on the number of participants, workshop will run 2 – 2 ½ hours. $20

Two opportunities in September:

Saturday, September 17, 4 pm

Avalon, 1211 Hillcrest, Orlando

Wednesday, September 21, 7pm

1412 Trovillion Ave, Winter Park

(Trovillion is the side street on the south side of ABC Fine Wine & Spirits on 17-92 across from Winter Park Village). If you’ll be attending this one, please RSVP for parking information.

RSVP or questions to Lorena Streeter: conscioussanity@gmail.com

Also, my Tuesday evenings are now booked into the foreseeable future (and I hope you'll join me!). I'll be facilitating a couple of groups at Spiral Circle's Annex (Spiral Circle is on Thornton Ave and Park Lake St--just off Colonial and Mills in Orlando) three Tuesdays each month, at 7 pm. These groups are free to attend, but donations to the cause (aka "love donations") are gratefully accepted.


General info:
2nd and 4th Tuesdays: Central Florida Energy Shift Meetup. Exploring the changes our world is currently experiencing, and how we make conscious, spirit-based, changes toward that vision—whatever your vision is—of the “future.” Topics change, and I'll keep them updated here.Once I figure out a good way to do it, upcoming events will appear on the sidebar. 7 pm

1st Tuesday: Dreaming into being. Creating conscious change in our lives and the world through dreams, spiritual journeys and our own energy systems (including the chakras). Topics will change each month. 7pm

Specifically, the next few look like this:
September 13 and 27: Central Florida Energy Shift (CFES) Meetup: What is your vision for our evolving world? How are you bringing it into being in your own life?

October 4: Dreaming into being. What are you dreaming? Dream interpretation and practice with conscious dreaming.

If you have any questions, email me at conscioussanity@gmail.com.

Forgiveness, part III

Note: (yes, I know, I should just put this over on the side) I am not a therapist, nor a health professional. I am a meditation teacher, Reiki master, and energy worker, and I focus on spiritual blocks. I do know that spiritual shifts/energy shifts can result in physical and emotional healing, but not in all cases (for a variety of reasons). Do not use any of the information I give you as a substitute for consulting with a health professional (physical or mental), social services professional, or law enforcement when appropriate. Re the present topic, it means that yes, if that cute guy you met at that party who offered you a ride home raped you, or the next door neighbor's teenaged daughter killed your dog, call the cops. Forgive, but prosecute.


Okay, where were we?

How do we forgive? And how do we know when we've forgiven? We recognize forgiveness when we realize there's no emotional attachment to the injury.

That is what forgiveness feels like: no emotional attachment. We simply aren't angry any more, or hurt, no matter how hard we try.

Let me just say this: if the wound is raw, you might need to do some other healing before you start on the path to forgiveness. In fact, it's likely that you'll experience the two on alternating days—a little healing leading to a little forgiveness, etc. Healing creates objectivity and the ability to be loving and compassionate (because you have the strength to be vulnerable all over again), and that gives you the strength to forgive, and forgiveness gives you space to breathe. I don't suggest trying to forgive no matter what—I think you have to do it when you're ready: when your brain says "I'm not a victim," and you're almost as mad at yourself for letting it still get to you.

I think there are about three steps to forgiveness—which isn't to say you can just check them off. Sometimes you'll find you need a lot of time (or maybe only a little) for each one, and you'll need meditation, contemplation, prayer, and imagination to do them. Forgiveness is frequently active (sometimes you'll find that you forgave something without even thinking about it, just through other things you're doing. Remember, you recognize it when you realize there is no emotional attachment to the injury. Can't even call your ex a sonofabitch and mean it.) There are other things that masquerade as forgiveness, of course, but it's up to you to decide: I trust you to be working on shifting out of old patterns and into new, or you wouldn't be here.

So here are the basic steps to active forgiveness:

• Realizing that forgiveness is not the same as agreement. Forgiveness stands on its own, and is not something you need to feel guilty about, no matter how heinous the offense or how unrepentant the perpetrator. Got nothing to do with either of them. This is about you healing.

• Realizing that everyone is doing the best they know how to do. Doesn't matter if you think they should have done it differently, should have been more enlightened, should have known you weren't the bad guy, shouldn't have taken out their pain on you. It's important to know that whatever they did wasn't about you—it was about them. Whatever the karma involved, whatever the complicating factors, if your husband beat you, it wasn't because you were a bad wife (even if you were). If your parents tied you to a radiator, it wasn't because you were a uncontrollable hooligan, even if you were (and that was the only way they knew to restrain you and keep you safe). If your mother's new boyfriend raped you when you were 13, it wasn't because you were a tramp. If your dad yelled at you for not cleaning your room, if the bullies at school beat you up for being different (however they defined it), it wasn't because of anything you did – it was because something (and not necessarily you) triggered a core of pain in them, and they were either striking out or walling up to protect themselves. By the way, it's also important to realize that you, too, were and are doing the best you knew how. The process works both ways.

• Letting go. Walk away from it. This is the part that probably takes the most meditation and prayer. Releasing your part (whatever you feel about having "caused" whatever happened) and releasing their part from you (it wasn't about you, it was about them). I admit, this is the part where I feel like the scientist in front of the blackboard where in the middle of the equation appear the words "here, a miracle happens." What I know is that when you practice letting go, eventually it happens.



Practicing letting go Our mind and body are marvelously entangled. We can imagine physical changes into being, and we can use physical sensation and action to create energetic and spiritual change. One of the best physical practices for letting go is this: get quiet. Put on some peaceful music if it helps, but it isn't necessary. Make yourself comfortable and if you want, close your eyes. Bring up a picture of the hurt you're trying to forgive. Don't dwell on it—that can just strengthen the tie, which is NOT the point. Simply hold the picture and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel: anger, hurt, fear, pain. Find the place in your body where that emotion is being held (frequently the chest, which is the seat of grief). You're likely to experience hot and tight as the primary physical sensations—like you're holding back tears, perhaps. Whatever the feeling is and wherever it is, the release is very simple: breathe into this spot. Imagine that the in breath goes directly to this place. On the out breath, relax. Imagine that with each breath out you have a little more room for the breathing. If you need to cry, do. If you're willing, dig a little—what are you feeling NOW? Perhaps over time anger has changed to grief, and you've spent years battling the wrong emotion. Perhaps you've already let go, and were just carrying around the memory. Do this as long as necessary. When you get up, wash your hands and drink some water to help seal off the breaking of those ties. In fact, if it helps, you can imagine ropes around whatever part of your body that hurts, and each breath in and out weakens (and finally breaks) those ties.

The art (and value) of forgiveness, part II

But how does this happen? Well, I can't say, exactly, what triggers complete forgiveness except practice. For me, every act of forgiveness has been a one-off. I can let go of some things--most things--immediately. Deeper wounds exist for all of us, though, unless we've already gone through the process or are somehow blessed beyond the norm. It has been part of our human experience. But the point at which I know I've released it (whatever it is) is when it crosses my mind, and I can't conjure up the pain. The process, to one degree or another, involves giving love and compassion--not just to that person, but to myself, and to others--the nice thing about compassion and love is that feeling them toward one person aids you in feeling them to all.


But .... okay, let's take a really tough example: a child who grew up in foster care under the worst possible circumstances. This was not my experience, so I freely admit I'm imagining how bad it can be. I can also imagine how hard it could be to forgive all the people who may have hurt that child--from the parent who abandoned them, to all the people who weren't there to do what adults are supposed to do (protect, nurture, model, etc), to all the people who WERE there, and the things they did. Wow. How do you forgive that?

I think, perhaps, you start with realizing that forgiveness is NOT the same as saying that what happened was okay, or had a purpose, or was a lesson you asked to learn, or anything like that. You do have to get to a place where you understand that, like it or not, everyone is doing the best they know how to do. Really. But you don't have to agree with their actions, and you certainly don't have to condone them. Nor, as I mentioned earlier, is there any inherent need to confront the person you're trying to forgive, or to try to make them feel better. In fact, maybe part of your process includes a career choice that changes that scenario so it doesn't hurt anyone else.

At its heart, whatever the process includes, forgiveness embraces both selfishness and unselfishness at the same time. Selfish, because forgiveness is about YOU. It's about you moving on, releasing the weight of the pain, giving yourself the opportunity to NOT be a victim. Failing to forgive is all about claiming victimhood. Kind of makes you cringe when you view it that way, doesn't it?

Unselfish, because to do it, you have to embrace compassion and understanding. As you release the weight of the past from you, you're also releasing THEM from it. This may or may not matter—one lesson I learned during a particularly difficult forgiveness process was that the other person may not realize there's anything to forgive. And that's when you realize that the need to confront may be less about forgiveness than it is about ego. If you can let go first of the need to let the other person know you forgive them, that's huge as well. And if that realization brings up anger, go ahead and sit with the anger. Sit with whatever feelings come up. But sit with purpose.



(to be continued with what comes next)

The art of forgiveness, part I

The more I thought about last night's Facebook comment (on the Conscious Sanity page), the more I felt like I needed to expand it. The post was this: Thinking about forgiveness today, and how new people coming into our lives sometimes give us a chance to heal old wounds by allowing us to address situations without the same emotional baggage.

Or, at any rate, we can allow them to. So part of this, perhaps, is the value of meditation, and becoming present in other ways. But back to forgiveness....

If you are used to holding on too tightly, forgiveness can be challenging. Sometimes it can feel like you're being a victim all over again, just thinking about it (a sure sign you haven't forgiven or let go of anything!). Sometimes, something truly horrible happened--even if it was only an instant in time; sometimes it was something that went on for years--and it can feel like forgiveness means, somehow, that the behavior was okay.

None of the above. Forgiveness is an act of compassion toward yourself, as well as the other person. And I think that when we set ourselves on a course of becoming present in our lives, of opening up, that we close down in a hurry when something happens to remind us of how we hurt in the past. So when we feel that we need to figure out this forgiveness thing, it's a sign that we're healing on a deep level, because we're saying it's time to let go of that, too--if we only could figure out how! Too, the things that need forgiven vary widely from person to person--perhaps the act to be forgiven was something like a parent who demanded you choose a particular career. To one person (probably someone who didn't have that demand made), that may not be important. To the person who found their soul's purpose at odds with their life for decades on end, it's huge, and mixed up with a boat load of other emotions, including the need to forgive oneself for "giving in."

Sometimes, forgiving cannot include the words "I forgive you," either because the person is unavailable, or because you just don't want to be face to face with them. I disagree with the premise that you must somehow get the words out (such as in a letter). In fact, I think the words are unnecessary, although if you feel they are absolutely necessary for you, then by all means use them. But forgiving is a release, and I think release is NOT triggered, or completed, by facing down someone you don't want to face. What does trigger or complete it is a simple letting go of the emotional baggage you've been carrying, and turning the energy toward something more useful to you at this time. Certainly the pain and anger were useful to you once, but if you're thinking about it and struggling with how to forgive, you're ready to let go.

To be continued....but for now, consider this: when someone or something comes into your life in the present, do you react as you've always reacted? Or can you take a moment and a step back, and ask yourself if perhaps they're there for your healing?

Letting go of control

Those of you who've read CP will recognize this issue in the 4th insight--the one about our "control dramas." But I want to take a big step away from that. In other words, don't forget everything you've read, but consider that it might not be THE game changer. It's not really about HOW you want to control things, rather THAT you want to control them. It's hard, and it's scary, to give up control sometimes, especially when it comes to walking away from an argument, or a dream....


It's because we think we're right. Of course we do. NO one really walks around saying "I'm going to win this argument, because I'm wrong." (Okay, maybe some people do, but we're talking about in semi-enlightened moments, here.) We think we're right, and we think our vision is right, and so we want people to see things our way. Doesn't matter, really, if it's an argument with our lover or an argument with an opposing political or cultural view. (You think you tolerate everyone and everything? Give it a try. $10 says less than 10 minutes gets you to something that punches a control button.) I don't know that this necessarily is a bad thing. I think that often, people who claim that truth is relative and everyone's point of view should carry equal weight are kidding themselves about how they really see the world. (The Dalai Lama and a few others may be an exception to this rule.) However, this isn't really the point. As I said above, it's not about how we want to be in control, but about THAT we do...and how do we walk away from that with our sense of self intact?

This is one reason we practice awareness, and we practice being connected to Source.

Being in control keeps us from being present. When we're worried about being in control, we're staying a step ahead of the game, watching our flank, whatever (sorry, ran out of sports and war metaphors there). What we're less likely to be doing is being in the now, with whatever/whoever is there. We're less likely to be processing, more likely to be reacting, relying on what used to be, rather than what is. We practice awareness on the cushion, but also in ordinary times, so that when the stressful moments hit, we have better success at stepping back and out of the drama.

Realizing that you are always connected, practicing that connection so that you are more aware and attuned, is key to releasing control. When we are aware that we are connected to Source, we can draw on the energy of that connection and we do not need to maintain our sense of self by being in control. We can allow things to be perfect just as they are, rather than as we'd like them to be, because WE DON'T LOSE.

Being able to let go of being in control also opens us to the awareness of other options. When we don't have to hang on to our marriage at all costs, when we don't have to be right all the time, we have room to let someone else—such as Source—be right, and point us in a direction we hadn't considered (remember, obstacles may be—pardon the cheesy comparison—turn signals. Sometimes "no" is a great thing.). Make sense? If there is divine purpose to our lives, and if we have purpose and plans (for lack of a better word) beyond the physical, and we realize we have chosen a physical existence for a reason, then how can we say that the physical reality we face—including our knowledge of what's best for us—is all there is?

Note: this is NOT blaming the victim, nor do I believe "it was God's will" is an answer. All I'm saying is that when we cling to control, we miss the opportunities in front of us, whether they're for growth, for energy shifting, or for options in our physical reality we might not be paying attention to. Just a thought.

Talk to your plants

Here's an energy practice for you that pays off in sheer beauty: talk to your plants. If you need to, buy something you aren't afraid you'll kill, and talk to it. Tell it how beautiful it is. Spend time appreciating the shades of green in its leaves (or barrel, if you are talking to, say, a saguaro). If you have zero time or space for a plant, find a tree in the neighborhood, or a park (it's an energy worker's adopt-a-tree program). Hug it, talk to it, feed it energy. Make a habit of it and pay attention to the flow of energy as it grows.

To strengthen the flow (this would be the energy feeding part): if you are practiced at energy work, use whatever method works for you. If you're new to it, try this exercise: hold your hands in a semi-cupped position a couple of inches away from the plant, your palms facing the plant. Imagine (which draws into being) that you, yourself, have roots--yours made of energy--and branches, and that these draw Source (Source being another word for God, however you see the Divine) energy into your body. Like blood flowing through your veins into every part of your body, this Divine energy moves through you and concentrates in your hands. As you do this, you may feel heat or tingling--don't worry, this is perfect. Even if you don't feel or see anything, the energy IS moving. If you want practice seeing or feeling the energy, you can build your visualization skills by practicing seeing it (close your eyes and just imagine your hands are glowing....what does that look like?). Now feel/see that energy creating a wave of lovely light moving from you to the plant. You need only do this for a few minutes at most, then allow/see/feel the energy dissipating back to you and your "normal" energy levels. You might also wash your hands when you're done (water will break the energy bond) and eat/drink something to make sure you are grounded when you are finished. You should not feel lightheaded or anything of the sort--but if you are, some fruit or bread and water will take care of that (of course, take your own personal dietary needs into account when grounding from any and all energy work. You can also eat some light protein--egg or yogurt or fish.)

If you have any questions about your practice, or concerns about technique, grounding, or anything else, feel free to email me at conscioussanity@gmail.com.

High Anxiety: everything's all right....

Where's Mel Brooks when you need him? (Assuming I'm remembering the association correctly--I didn't look!)

It seems like it's getting crazier every day, and some days it's a challenge to find the nuggets of grace we want to build onto. Or maybe just cling to desperately, depending on whether you're riding the maelstrom or watching from the shore. Key practices these days: metta, tonglen, open heart meditations. But also simple awareness, stepping back from the edge and not buying the drama. Taking a moment to see where we REALLY are, and working with/from that. Love. Lots of love.

"Whatever we're doing could be done with one intention. That intention is that we want to wake up, we want to ripen our compassion and we want to ripen our ability to let go. We want to realize our connection with all beings." (Pema Chodron)

All that. And we want to be awake and aware and loving and healing in the world, not just on the cushion (so much easier there, isn't it?).

So here are a couple of practices for the weekend. 1st practice. With all the anxiety and struggle going on right now, we want to start moving that energy into another dimension or level. Let's call it "creating grace" or "creating space." Pick something--preferably something you have an emotional tie to, whether it's something that irritates you on the news or next door, or an issue you've been avoiding resolving in your own life. Get quiet, stilling the energy around you with some deep breathing. Allow yourself to imagine that whatever it is, JUST AS IT IS, it's exactly as you wanted it to be. This is not visualizing an outcome you like--this is, frankly, a non-attachment exercise. JUST AS IT IS, it's okay. Probably the best way is to simply hold the thought, emotion, image in your mind and breathe into it until you feel your body relax and loosen. Then continue breathing/relaxing into, while you see the beauty in the situation--the relationship, the person who's screaming about all the wrong things, whatever. Breathe into it, love and lean into until it's glowing.

2nd practice: raising grace (there's a book title in here, somewhere, isn't there?): Find something that brings you peace, no matter what. For me, Tibetan prayer flags. You just know when you see them, that good things are happening. For you, maybe it's a piece of music, or a sapce to be in (park, etc.). Whatever it is, spend some time there, letting yourself fill with peace and the way it expands your lungs and loosens your muscles.

Have a great weekend--and let me know your experiences with this practice!

PS Conscious Sanity fan page now up on Facebook. No page name yet, but just search for Conscious Sanity....

Energy

If you could get a big enough microscope, you’d realize that there is a point of resolution at which you’d be essentially unable to determine where my hand ended and yours began, if we were touching. A bit bigger, and you’d see that the lines are blurred even when we’re standing several feet apart. And so on. Air, breath, is constantly cycling. Unless you’re living in a hermetically sealed chamber, it’s more likely than not that every breath you take is an exchange of air with someone else.


This is not to freak anyone out, or even to rephrase the spiritual note about how we’re all one. Rather, I want to focus on the fact that the reason that at some point, those physical boundaries disappear is that what we call “matter” (and what the indigenous peoples of various cultures, including the Laika of Peru, would remark as “frozen light” or “really dense light”) is mostly energy. Some force we don’t entirely understand holds it all together in shapes we recognize as our living room furniture or our best friends.

(Note: I’m watching Ghost Hunters while I’m typing this, which is lending an interesting perspective to my internal discussion on energy!) So with all this energy organizing around us, why do we find it so hard to accept that energy can be perceived, shifted, transformed? Even when we experience it with our most common (five) physical senses, we have a hard time believing it. Even with scientific (tested, and retested) validation…it must be a trick, right?

Spoonbending may be an impractical display, but what if awareness and focused attention brought healing, extra energy, or some other desirable consequence to living beings? Energy healers/workers send energy to the plants in their gardens (perhaps supplemented with quartz crystals buried in the soil); Reiki healers channel unprecedented healings to humans and animals. We accept miracles, why not accept that energy can be shifted to intentionally create those miracles?

One thing we know is that we can measure energy—we can measure the electromagnetic fields; we recognize that some people have emfs that are just wonky—these are the people who can’t run a laptop on battery and might as well leave their watches at home.

Another step in shifting perception and energy away from the physical and into the broader spirit is to concentrate on sensing/observing the energy of all beings. If you aren’t sure about trying to do this with your physical senses, start with your instincts: we have all know someone who either attracts or repels us to the point where we are instantly aware of them when they walk into a room. We can sense when someone is watching us from across a room. And so forth. This is just another form of energy sensing, so if you are familiar with this, it’s a good place to start. Begin by just noticing when you notice it, then practice noticing (you’re noticing it more easily when those energies are stronger. Practicing noticing will increase your sensitivity to less forceful energy emanations.

Shifting from physical

No, I’m not going to teach you to disappear. Even if I could (you would be more talented than I if that happened!), a blog post probably isn’t the best teaching tool for that.


Actually, what I’m talking about is shifting perception away from the structure of your physical reality—your everyday life, in other words—into a bigger picture.

I’m really combining two different processes here, but I think they mesh. We talked recently about the physical perception level, where we’re caught up in questions of survival: shelter, food, clothing, security—or as I described to my nephew during a trip to Gatorland one day, assessing for two things: dinner, or danger (eat or be eaten). Very limiting, in terms of energy. When your attention is focused on the job (or more particularly, the paycheck), doing chores, keeping the car running, etc—even including a limited (in contrast to limitless) commitment to your spiritual growth, the big picture is hard to take in.

We are at a time in our spiritual / energy evolution where we have to take in the bigger picture—if only to get through the rapidly changing physical world with some degree of clarity, but more importantly where it helps us not get stuck in one perception of what “reality ought to be.” Any time you can step back from whatever is going on in your world and take a bigger view of it, do. Shifting energy requires that we pull back from our focus on our physical surroundings, physical reality. This is the first step.

We often look at the events in our lives (or in the news) as though they’ve never happened before…and sometimes this is true. For example, take the current wave of events in the middle east. When in history have we seen this kind of sweeping change? It’s fairly clear that the events are impacted by our current state of technology, among other things, and in addition, they’re happening at a time when spiritual energy is shifting and accelerating. It would be easy to limit our understanding to a short-term historical context, but what if we look at it in the bigger picture of human evolution? What happens then? And since I’m hypersensitive to source (not Source, in this case!), I should note that among others, both James Redfield in the Celestine Prophecy (1992) and Barbara Hand Clow in The Mayan Code (2007) have spoken of this broader view of human evolution—not simply our historical or technological evolution should be taken into account, of course, but those are fairly simple examples to wrap your brain around.

PS and of course this is not to give you license to ignore your physical reality: eat good food, drink pure water, see to your health needs, etc.

Daily purpose

It’s the little things that can trip us up, you know. Grand passions and grand purposes notwithstanding, when we get caught up in everyday life, that’s when we step off the track. That’s when we get caught by our power plays and forget everything we’ve learned. We’re at an interesting juncture—we have the timing and opportunity to step beyond the physical limitations we take for granted on a daily basis, but our lives are so crazy-busy we react, rather than act. We take the closest turn, and call it intuition, rather than reach inside ourselves long enough to find the connection, the power cord (or power chord, perhaps ), look for the synchronicity and the signals that Divine guidance is waving at us. We ignore the coincidence of meeting just the right person at the right time, wave it off as “a sign, but I don’t know of what.”


So our daily practice—meditation, energy clearing, energy raising through the kind of music we listen to, the people we surround ourselves with, etc—is the practice ground for this. Meditation trains us to step back and shut up, even if it’s just for a moment. Energy clearing makes the voice of God sound just a bit stronger—and working through our old crap makes it a bit easier to contemplate the non-limits. But it is a daily practice. And while I say “even if you can only do this for five minutes,” that isn’t an excuse to leave it at five minutes while you go off and watch TV for the rest of the evening. That’s another trap of the times, I think—and reminds me of the Genie in the Aladdin movie, saying “limitless power, itty-bitty living space.” That’s us—limitless power, but it’s easier to spend our time in a cozy living space than to do the work needed to evolve.

Which isn’t to say it’s all difficult. Sometimes the hardest part is just letting go…because once you let go—really let go—it can be amazingly easy. We’re just going to shift the energy.

What’s next?

So from Doctor Dad, you’ve got a bent for science. From Artist Mom, you’ve got a flair for color and proportion and a love of beauty. Now what?


Well, here’s a quick example of where your path might be leading you: what if you discovered through practice that the more beautiful a garden was, the stronger its healing properties? Or what if you found that color therapy helped abused children heal their trauma? Or that Reiki, combined with appreciation, caused plants to become more nutritious by enhancing their mineral impact?

What if everything you dreamed, was real?

That’s the beginning of finding your path, of waking up, of creating a new dream for living. The next step is to create a vision from that of two things: the larger purpose, and the next step. The larger purpose is the grand question you’ll hold before the Universe so when you aren’t quite sure what to do, where to go, what choice to make, you go back to that, and you look for the signs, the synchronicity.

Expect it. Expect to be shown what you need to see. And follow your hunches, the path that glows brighter than the other when you get to the fork in the road. Do this while maintaining your vision, while keeping your energy clear, while maintaining connection with the Divine (this is why I say the Insights Redfield presents aren’t consecutive—there’s kind of this loop that you have to stay in/on etc. Sometimes it looks like a Mobius strip, but keep at it, you’ll be upright again soon!). The more layers you peel away from your armor, the more open you are, the more you cultivate the open heart of a spiritual warrior, the LESS you rely on Fear and its protections, the clearer the Vision is, the brighter the synchronicities, and so on.



If you can do this for five minutes at a time, you’re way ahead of most of the gang!

Why am I here?

If we are to do the necessary practice of shifting energy on a large scale, the first place we want to start is with ourselves, and getting clear of the psychic crap we pick up every day, as well as the crap we’ve been carrying with us as karma, trauma, or just habits.

The next step, which actually involves lots of pieces, is to be clear on where you’re going in the highest sense. Your spiritual purpose, or your role in the process of human spiritual evolution. The “why am I here.”

This is an answer we begin to come to by looking at our past—more particularly our families—with curiosity instead of judgment. We start with the premise that we chose our families—that this was not a cosmic accident. (Actually, we’re starting the whole thing with the premise that there are no cosmic accidents.) Think about your parents, about the kind of people they were. You can bring siblings into the equation, too, although that gets a bit complicated, because you’re working with the thought that they too chose your family for a purpose. Hmmm ... might be interesting to know what your siblings thought of your parents in this scenario, too—do they see the same things you do? But I digress.

When I look at my parents, I realize that over the past several years my understanding of their part in my spiritual placement (if you will) has changed somewhat, and gotten a bit more nuanced. That’s okay—you start where you are and as your understanding grows, I think you get simply more information to push you along. So…Redfield, in the Celestine Prophecy, suggests four paradigms of power that we all engage in: interrogation, intimidation, aloofness / withdrawal, and “poor me” or victim. All of these are used as ways to manipulate relationships to draw as much energy / power to ourselves as possible. He suggests the we develop these power paradigms by observing our parents and reacting to their power paradigms, and that this serves also as a base for us to grow from.

The danger in this, though, is in letting ourselves get trapped in the simplicity of this four-part power model. I see myself, for example, reacting differently to different people when I get caught in a power play. Still, it’s a useful tool for learning to observe power manipulation and for walking away from it. Of course, it's also important to focus on the part where you learn to walk away, instead of using it as an excuse!

A huge part of what we learn – or can learn – from our parents comes from observing—again, with curiosity, not judgment—who/how they are in the world in terms of providing sort of a base from which we gain tools to create our paths. For some people, this may be easy: my dad was a doctor, I’m a doctor, etc. But for this new goal of conscious spiritual evolution, or conscious sanity, I think it’s important to go beyond that. And for those of us whose parental lessons may not be so obvious in the sense that following their mundane path isn’t what we’re aiming for. In my case, at one point in my life or another, both my parents were teachers. I don’t think that how they approached teaching is necessarily a model from which I should draw—although I could be wrong. In fact, it took me years to understand that what I think is the biggest synthesis for me is how they each approached/approach spirituality and spiritual exploration. From my mother, I get a huge helping of curiosity, and willingness to explore new things. My mother is one of those people who, when her attention is caught, is just as likely to dive headlong into the pool as she is to check the temperature with her toe in the shallow end. My dad was much more cynical (possibly because the idealism was crushed at a young age, but I’m not trying to defend or explain him, just observe). He frequently would make statements that would leave you wondering why he wasn’t an atheist—and by the time I was a young adult, he and my mom were pretty much at opposite ends of spectrum when it came to trying “new,” although I still describe him as a perpetual seeker.

So from Mom, curiosity and willingness to explore. From Dad, a desire to explain, debunk, and ground in logic and experience, rather than taking what I see at face value. And probably, I really shouldn’t forget the teacher thing—there’s definitely a need to discover (from both of them), but for the sake of sharing.

So for you…what do you see in your parents’ lives, in their way of being in the world, that was important to you as you engage in this process?

Purpose, path, and evolution

Many scientists and others writing in the “new paradigm” genre (if genre is the right word, but you know what I mean) have suggested that the real meaning of our time, and of the changes predicted over the next couple of years have to do with our ability to evolve within our lifetimes. Not intergenerational evolution, but INTRA-generational evolution.


Certainly we are on the cusp of great change, sliding into the bowl of it, so…why not?

Over the past few weeks, the news has rocked with reports of revolution and change world-wide (or at least region-wide). The beginning of the bigger changes to come, it’s thought.

It’s interesting to step back and observe as Fear responds. Sometimes on both sides. It’s challenging, too, as an observer, to ascertain where it’s fear, or perhaps a necessary stand, in some of these scenarios—or even if what we see as change is perhaps a backlash from the old paradigm resisting change indirectly. (How you see that may depend on your personal view of “how the world ought to work.”)

This is where clarity on your path and the larger purpose of human experience is essential. Keeping clear on this is aided in part by those things we’ve discussed—the work you do to get clear yourself will help you maintain focus in the midst of the Fear.

Four levels of seeing

When we look at clearing or shifting energy—for whatever purpose, but especially when it's part of our spiritual path (or is helping us walk that path), it's helpful to realize that what we can do easily varies with our level of perception. The shamans of Peru present four levels of perception that they say we function with. It's important to understand that these are only partly aligned with, say, a spiritual progression—that is, while we are here in these human forms, we're likely to move between all of them depending on circumstance.


The first level of seeing is that of serpent. You could roughly correspond this to the first two levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, since it's very simple: food, shelter, security. It's being very physically in the world, very concerned with physical needs.

The second level of seeing is that of jaguar. This is the perception of the mind and emotions. For example, take the breath. At serpent, we're only concerned with being able to breathe—in fact, we're mostly unconscious of it as long as it keeps going. At the level of jaguar, we assign meaning to the breath: quickening under excitement, perhaps stopping altogether with shock. We're able to manipulate the breath to purpose: deep breathing for trance work or to calm ourselves; a single deep breath to gain control, and so forth. In the words of Alberto Villoldo (The Four Insights) "We're aware that our experiences are influenced by our thoughts and that everything isn't necessarily what it seems to be in the physical realm."

The third level of seeing is that of hummingbird, where we are aware of bigger patterns, of divine purpose, that things are expressions of the divine. It is the perception of the sacred, of the soul. We are aware of our connection to the divine—a level of perception we might correspond to the 3rd eye/brow or crown chakra.

The fourth level of perception is that of eagle: this is spiritual perception. This is the level of creation, not simply awareness of the divine hand in creation. When we are in the realm of eagle, we are not aware of a connection to the divine, we are simply connected. We see everything as spirit and connected.

I believe it's at this fourth level—eagle—where we shift energy. This is where we embody prayer. Change, of course, happens at all levels: in serpent, instinctive reaction to enticements or threats will have us changing course: we're hungry, so we pull into the closest place that satisfies our need or our tastes. In jaguar, we can make conscious choices based on what we see beneath the surface: jaguar is the level at which we can begin healing our past, making choices about the use of power, and so forth. It's where we can be aware of the physical expression of energy and how it affects us: the things we learn from our past, from our friends, families, and lovers; from all our relationships. It's the point from which most of us begin our spiritual journey. These changes are emotional, psychological, and they encourage us to explore further. At hummingbird, we gain awareness of patterns of destiny, of past life karma and inter-life choices, of soulmates and soul groups. At hummingbird, we are aware of how interconnected we are, and how we connect to divine purpose and energy, and we begin shifting energy. It's slower here than at eagle, though, because in eagle we don't need reminders of how to dismantle barriers. We don't have to stay in trance to heal, or to shift energy because we simply are and do. This level is available to us no matter where we are or think we are in our spiritual practice—this is the level at which physical obstacles simply dissolve, because we drop ego (which is our awareness of being separate) and simply allow...twisting spoons, spontaneous healing, superhuman feats to rescue a child...just in case you thought this was reserved for monks or others who live lives of devoted spiritual attunement!

Holding the Vision

The other evening I was at a meetup (group of people—often strangers—getting together to explore a common interest) that had been meeting to discuss things related to the Celestine insights (based on the book[s] by James Redfield). I'd attended a few in the past, but the approach wasn't entirely the way I was hoping to engage, and I'd fallen out of the practice. This meeting, though, was to discuss the 10th insight, "holding the vision," and because many of the themes that underlie that particular insight have been popping up lately, it seemed a good time to check back in.


A full understanding of this insight is, like so many of the others, complicated, and this is just my interpretation from my reading; still, I think we'll take a few days to go over it, and then maybe we'll backtrack and work in some of the things that made this all make sense to me finally, 15 or so years after I'd first read the Celestine Prophecy.

I've said before that it doesn't matter what your calling is, as long as you find it and are working that direction. For that matter, the important stuff has nothing to do with how you're making a living, although the more closely you can weld spiritual purpose to every part of your life—including the part that pays for what you need to pay for—the happier you'll be. But what's this "holding the vision" stuff about?

Well, it's about digging into why you are really here (the age-old question, right?). Finding out what your role is in human spiritual evolution, and playing that out. It's about not being distracted by fear, or the "wrong" vision, whether yours or someone else's. You get there by digging below the surface, below the path that feels good or right and finding out what the bedrock is made of.

One thing to understand is that the Insights (any insight, for that matter) is not a question of chronology; although coming to certain understandings is often necessary to better understand something that comes later, you don't have to put off studying or living something just because you haven't entirely figured out the first step. What I find is that very frequently, some truth that you uncover will send you right back to an earlier discovery with a new perspective that helps you grow back to that next one, which gives you a new understanding of THAT, and so on. So even if you feel like you haven't quite got here—still fumbling around with the basics—keep going. Incorporate what we've been talking about, the other things you've learned, and know that you're moving forward with every step.

One of the first steps that WILL keep you going back and forth, but in a spiral, not in a stuck line, is the energy clearing we've been discussing. Your energy gets clear, so you can face something you weren't willing to face before, but that brings more energy toxins to the surface, so you need more clearing, etc. And energy clearing will help you get more clear on the truth in your life, which means you (often) get to deal with the delusions next.

Once you've discovered your vision (the one we're talking about holding), that gives you a touchstone or focal point, but it most likely will NOT magically make everything better—because part of what you came to do is likely to include various facets of messy human existence. So you still are going to be working through whatever those experiences are: relationships, prosperity issues, right livelihood, right speech (to use some Buddhist terms), and—and this can be a fun one—other people's reactions to your growth. The closer those people are to you, the harder that can be.

Over the next few days we'll talk about the shamans' four levels of seeing, because it ties into this beautifully, then soul groups, and finally, how to set this into your daily practice and daily reality. Today, we're going to take a giant step back and talk about meditation and chakras for one moment.

Meditation is essential for quieting your mind and learning focus. The ability to hold a focus in meditation—whether on the breath, on counting, on a mantra or image—is key to holding your vision. Meditation, because it trains us to let thoughts pass through without distracting us, also trains us to hold a focus in the midst of ordinary reality—to allow those distractions of our mundane lives to pass through as the temporary forms they are, without pulling us away from our purpose.

Meditation also helps us peel away the onion layers of our armor. We build up these thick walls of protection, constructed of the stories we tell ourselves about right and wrong, of harm done to us, or of power plays we've pulled on others. We construct them out of the shoulda-coulda-woulda list, out of the "gotta do" list, out of bills to pay and people to please and houses to keep up as though those actions can protect us from the rug being pulled out from under us to disclose the oubliette of whatever it was we didn't expect. (I know, great metaphor, isn't it?) What we want to do, though, to complete this life-long journey of spiritual evolution is to be warriors without armor (did I mention it's life-long? Not for everyone, I suppose, but still....). To create a life of conscious spiritual connection and energy evolution. And we can't do it without peeling away the protections we've piled on. Meditation helps us see our stories for what they are, gives us the space to step back before reacting to the new stories – to become an observer – and to stop relying on them for protection.

Your work in clearing your chakras and strengthening the energy centers in and around you is one way to heal the wounds caused—and protected by—the armor. Those chakras that persist in gunking up can tell you where you try hardest to protect yourself, and/or where you're attracting hits, where the lessons you've chosen to learn may sit. Note: just because you've chosen to experience something in this lifetime, it doesn't mean you have to KEEP experiencing it. Learn the lesson, release the karma, and move on--because it's moving on (and up, and deeper) that's kind of the point.

Clear, strengthen, repeat. You're off to an excellent start. Where do you find it hardest to clear? Feel free to comment or email me privately, whether you've got "stuck" or want to share what you find.

My life is in the way of my Life

Ayiyi....you know the old saying that life is what happens while you're making other plans? That's been the past several days—constantly on the go, and suddenly it's Wednesday and I haven't had time to even think of a useful blog post, much less write one (among other things). My life, as I said, is in the way of my Life.


Unh-unh. It's a great excuse, though, isn't it? Life, though, is just life—it's the stuff we do to fill the time until our real life starts, unless we wake up and decide to do it differently. When we let life "get in the way," we can take a step back and ask what's going on—what are we giving in to? Our fear of doing something bigger and bolder than we've ever done before? And what's with that crap? Weren't we past that?

We can, of course, accept that we are human, and there're going to be days when just being human is going to take all our energy. The important thing to realize is if those days are pulling us off our path—creating a new/old path for us, and whether the real problem is we're drifting back into the well-worn channel of our previous days, rather than doing the hard work of creating something new in our lives.

If I stay up too late—no matter the reason—and then don't want to get up at 5 a.m. to work out, or write, or meditate, or clear energy, or any one of the myriad activities I could engage in, it's time to ask why: do I need some downtime to process? (sometimes if you've been doing massive energy work, including clearings or some other type of energy shifting, you'll find you need more sleep for a few days, but that only works as a reason if you always stay up late and it's never been a problem before) am I avoiding working out, meditating, writing, or whatever it is I had planned for the morning? Depending on the activities of the evening before (heartfelt convo with your best friend vs. a Law and Order marathon) the question might be 'what was I avoiding last night?'

Life shouldn't be considered as "getting in the way." It's your life. It's either the stuff you fill time with, or it's the container for manifesting your purpose this go-round.

Just breathe!

I realized after I published yesterday's (late!) post that the closing line was perfect to apply to today's comments. Another way to work on clearing and strengthening the chakra centers is to breathe into them.

I was first shown this exercise about 15 years ago by a friend who did chakra work as part of his therapy practice (he was the therapist, not the recipient). I loved it so much I've used it ever since as another--sometimes quicker--way to tap in and strengthen my energy connection to the chakras.

It's perhaps easiest to practice this with the natural seat of the breath (the heart chakra) or its close relative, the throat chakra. I say easier only because at first, there's a bit of visualization at play, and it's easier, I think, to visualize breath entering those areas than, say, the crown of your head or the base of your spine.

Close your eyes. No trance is required for this, by the way, but closing your eyes will help you focus, especially at first. With practice, it won't be necessary. For a few moments, simply breathe as you normally do. Gradually, though, bring your attention to your breath moving in your throat. Imagine that instead of breathing through your nose or mouth, you are breathing through the skin at the base of your throat, straight into your throat chakra. Visualize the blue of this chakra brightening when you breathe in. Perhaps it spins slightly faster, or with more stability. When you breathe out, perhaps it lightens, or stays bright, but becomes a clearer color. It's your chakra--don't take my description for anything other than a possibility! See what's really going on with you--that's the important part.

From the throat, it's probably easiest to breathe into the heart chakra in the same way, then continuing down until you reach the root. Then transfer your attention to the brow and crown chakras.

You may find yourself a bit disoriented after this, unless you're accustomed to doing breath work. If you are, give yourself a few moments to settle back into your body, then drink some water before you do anything else. And please, don't breathe and drive!

Have an amazing, blessed day, and don't forget to breathe!

Crowning moments

Wow! Today was largely an exercise in staying deeply connected. Workday: hectic, with one project replacing another before the first could be finished (I'm still in the middle of editing the same article I started the morning with!). Errands after work, a stop at the grocery story, a forgotten bill needing paid...and I got home, parked my car, walked to the mailbox, picked up the mail (including a replacement phone that I hoped to activate online tonight, but no, that will be another errand to run tomorrow), walked back to my apartment, walked to my car to get groceries from the trunk...uh, oh. Car was listing seriously to one side. Sure enough, I had a flat tire. Called the tire place (I'd just had work done on the car last week, so the phone number was handy.). They'd just closed, and I definitely needed a tow (they'd have stayed if I could have driven over).

So the point...sometimes, staying connected to purpose, to the divine, to the path requires conscious attention to the connection. Not just during meditation or energy work where we're focused on strengthening the connection, but in the middle of what-kind-of-crazy consciously stepping back, breathing, opening the crown chakra to balance the craziness with divine sanity.

This is the role of the crown chakra. No, not balancing the craziness, per se. But as a portal--it's kind of like the outlet in the wall. Plugged in, electricity flows. It connects us to the divine, to the bigger picture. The crown chakra is where Reiki practitioners draw in energy. It's not just being aware of connected, it IS the connection. Whewwwwwwwwww. Yeah. It's the deep breath you take in when you close your eyes and raise your face to the sun. It's finding the purpose, the seed of your sanity in the middle of other people's priorities. Enlightenment, transcendance.

The color associated with this chakra is purple. One way to strengthen a chakra in general is to bring more of the color associated with it into your life. I'm not sure that means you should be wearing all the colors of the rainbow at one time (a bit dizzying, perhaps?), or one for every day of the week (I've meditated that way, but I'm not sure about dressing that way...perhaps a bit too eccentric!), but perhaps adding more purple tones to your sacred space, maybe wearing more of it if you're going through an extra-stressful time.

For clearing, though, we'll still on visualization. Tomorrow (which post will be rather earlier in the day!) I'm going to give you a couple more clearing/strengthening exercises. Today / tonight: the visual. You'll cast your inner eye to the crown of your head for this one. You'll probably find the spinning chakra more visible just a half inch or so above your skull, rather than inside, simply because of your viewpoint. Purple, as I said, probably around the violet range. Purple is an interesting and beautiful color. If the color you see or sense is, say, eggplant, you're probably a bit blocked (this chakra generally doesn't get polluted in the way that others do, although I wouldn't rule anything out, especially given the things some people do...you just can't imagine their spiritual center to be anything but mucked up!...but probably 99.999% of the time, the energy flow is simply being choked off. If the color is light, it may be that you're very open, and if it's causing problems for you, the answer might simply be some grounding (isn't energy cool?).

For meditation/clearing purposes, amethyst is the classic choice to associate with the crown chakra. In geode form, it's a great tool for meditation for any purpose. Another stunningly beautiful choice is selenite. It's a form of crystalized gypsum, and kind of looks like a cross between those ribbon hard candies you used to see at Christmas time and blackboard chalk. Moonstone can also be used.

Just breathe!

The all-seeing eye

Chakra six – the brow, or third eye, chakra. The energy center of clairvoyance, of reception of divine communication. It's where we imagine—as I tell my creative visualization students, it's the movie screen behind your eyes. Open, the images flow. Blocked, we lose sight—literally—of our connection to the divine.


One thing you might be noticing about now is that although we usually talk about the chakras from the root up (an easy way to approach the clearing, too), the way the divine works is more like the top down: being a manifestation of the divine ourselves, we become an energetic channel for divine energy to flow downward from the Crown (and higher) chakra(s) into manifestation. The four lower body chakras are associated with the four physical elements: air (heart), fire (solar plexus), water (sacral) and earth (root) – in order of their physical density. The lower down we move, the more grounded we are. The higher we move, the less grounded and more clearly connected to divine guidance.

Anyone who's had a bad experience with traditional religious practices is probably going to find imbalance here, even if you've moved to a new understanding of spiritual practice because there's a good chance you're blocking any energy you associate with those experiences.

To clear this chakra, your visualization for the first time is going to move up (in your body), and instead of using your spine as a reference point, you're simply going to look at that place where you probably visualize or imagine most things—it's the same spot, in all likelihood, whether you're imaging the path you're on, and how that manifests, or imagining the scene in your favorite novel: the movie screen behind your eyes. Focus on that dark blue (indigo) ball of energy spinning in there. Sometimes this visual can be tricky, because we're used to putting all sorts of images there, but it can be done. To help you clarify, clear, and access the energy of this chakra, stones like iolite (my favorite: it's this gorgeous purply-blue with white streaks in it), lapis, sodalite, even moss agate (a lovely dark green-blue that looks like someone injected moss into clear quartz). Speaking of which, clear quartz works nicely here as well. Put a few around you, hold one in your hand(s) or even against your body. This chakra can present very cool experiences when you clear it, even as you're in the process. If you feel a little too open after, ground yourself and even eat or drink something to help center you in the physical.



Have an amazing and blessed day!

The voice of truth: the throat chakra

The throat chakra governs, as you might guess, communication. But more than that, the energy of this chakra is all about communicating truth. It's about building connection and community, about creativity, and it's key to accessing our psychic abilities (we usually think of the 3rd eye for this, but ....)


In a week or so, when we start looking at some of the other energy centers, we're going to take a long, hard look at the higher heart chakra, which rests between the heart and throat, bridging the two. In itself, though, the throat chakra could be considered a bridge between heart and brow. If the heart chakra connects us to others through love and compassion, the throat chakra connects us not only to others, but to a consciousness beyond the physical. Voice manifests ("in the beginning was the word") ideas; voice transfers ideas from spirit to physical reality when we communicate with others...we shape our reality through our throat. Blocked, says Alberto Villoldo in The Four Insights, this chakra can constrict our energy-focus to our family, our tribe. Open, we are able to connect to a greater "us." Communicate. Community.

It's not just talking, though, it's speaking truth. This is a chakra that is often shut down in women (especially in older generations and certain cultures), children, and others who are told they should be "seen and not heard." It's the chakra that's shut down when we're told physical reality is all we have, and we stop telling people about our non-physical experiences.

When we open the throat chakra, we allow the truth voice, and we share that truth with others. The chakra, by the way, also governs hearing. One way to shut down truth is to refuse to listen.

When you visualize this chakra, see it as a light to bright blue (the color of the lapis stone is perfect). When it spins, it glows brilliantly with the light of truth—your truth. If you've not done much clearing of this chakra, don't be surprised if your voice over the next few days feels rusty. But then again, maybe it will sound brighter and clearer than ever before. If you're using stones in your chakra meditations, a few good choices for this one are blue kyanite (my favorite—it's such a beautiful blue, especially if you find it tumbled and polished!), chrysocolla (which lends itself well to strength and balance in communication), lapis lazuli, sodalite (which also works well with the brow chakra, allowing truth to flow freely), and blue sapphires.


Have an amazing, blessed day!

Straight to the heart (chakra)

Sorry--the last couple days got the better of me. I started a container garden on my balcony, and started sprouts this week, and that's taken up a bit of time--but the clover sprouts are amazing, and even the radish and broccoli are actually sprouting (a huge improvement over trying to sprout at my last place). This morning? One lone carrot top peeking out of the soil. I suspect the cool weather is slowing things down, but that's okay.

So mundane life was a bit hectic, the garden required a bit extra time, but that's life, and it gave me a little more time to think about what I wanted to say for our first look at the heart chakra.

As you could guess, the heart chakra is located right about where our physical heart is. The color associated with it on our rainbow ladder is green. The quality most closely associated with it is love. The heart chakra is sometimes referred to as a bridge chakra--part of its role in our energy is connecting the three lower chakras, which really place us in the world--our stuff, our relationships, our personal power, and the three upper body chakras (throat, third eye or brow, and crown) which start to connect us on a different level. It is here that we process emotions. And because 99.999% of everything is rooted in either love or fear, imbalances in this chakra can affect (or be created by) things going on in almost every other area of our lives.

I love this chakra (no pun intended). When it's clear and glowing, healing energy just floods your entire being and your life. It is, however, a chakra that is frequently out of balance, especially for women. When you're raised to place others' well-being above your own, others' opinions above your own, and others' feelings above your own, this chakra either shrinks or armors up to protect you, or expands until you have no recognizable emotional boundaries or emotional self-preservation: you're giving, giving, giving and never replenishing.

Not only our heart but our breath/lungs is governed by this chakra. In Chinese medicine, the lungs hold grief (think about this for a moment!). This is a great chakra to practice breathing into/through -- something we'll be talking about next week. For now, we'll stay with the practice of clearing through visualization. If you need reminders, go back to the post last Friday (?) on the root chakra, and review those suggestions. The color you should see when you go in and focus on this chakra is green. Imagine an emerald (an excellent stone for heart chakra work) in your chest. Other stones include seraphinite (a gorgeous mossy green), sugilite, green, pink or watermelon tourmaline (yes, it really looks like a cross-section slice). Rose quartz is a favorite of many people; calcites are good for clearing any chakra (match the color with the chakra), so pink calcite would be your choice here. Yes, it's not green, but the pink stones tend to associate with feelings of love as well.

Three more chakras in this section of the adventure ....

Have an amazing, blessed day!

I will: chakra three

The third, or solar plexus, chakra, is the seat of our power--or at least the seat of our recognition of power. Remember, with any energy in our lives, it's not so much about its absence or presence as it is about our connection. Energy simply flows, and if it isn't flowing, or isn't flowing in a way that works for us, it's usually because there's a blocked connection of some sort. Often the complications in our chakras are comparable to a dam holding back water. Power through the dam, and things start flowing freely (and stop backing up and flooding other areas!).

An out-of-balance third chakra often is connected to an imbalance of power in our lives (I say "connected" with regards to chakra imbalances because it's not always clear which came first--the out-of-whack chakra [causing the energy imbalance in our outer life] or the out-of-whack life [causing the energy imbalance in the chakra]). It's often the case that chakra imbalances, especially severe ones, can be traced back to events happening in particular timeframes of our early lives--and if you look at childhood development timelines you can often see why. Third chakra imbalances often date back to the ages of 2 1/2 - 4 1/2 years: the time in which children develop personal power and a recognition that they are separate bodies from others. Think the terrible twos, here....

Back to the chakra. Loosely paraphrasing Anodea Judith from her work Wheels of Life: Feeling powerless is failing to consciously use our will. It's not that we're lacking in will, it's that we're applying it in directions that don't serve us. Yes, this can be a big hurdle. Yes, this can be overwhelmingly because of myriad issues that drive us into choosing to respond in accordance with someone else's will, rather than our own real purpose. Yes, yes, yes. Tons of reasons. But I think it's important to realize that our own purpose is there, just waiting for us to take a shot at tuning in. If you feel out of control, powerless, and weak, or simply (if such a thing is simple) stuck, you want to take a look at your third chakra.

This is a chakra to pay attention to with your daily energy clearing as well, especially if you spend much time around other people engaged in power struggles, because this is where those sit as well. This is the chakra associated with the physical element of fire, and as such it's the seat not only of power, but of transformation. It's where we focus when we're doing centering exercises, and if you've ever engaged in a battle of wills and lost, feeling like you've been kicked in the stomach, this is the place. You want this chakra clear and working for you so you can keep healing.

If you need, check back to the post on the root chakra from last week for details on the visualization process we're working with right now. To help boost the energy of the clearing of this chakra, I do suggest running through a grounding/centering exercise first, then visualizing the white light energy of your spirit-aura. When you trance, you'll be looking for a yellow glow just below your rib cage. As you go through the visualization of clearing and balancing this chakra, pay attention to any feelings of anger or fear that may come up. Let yourself breathe through them (literally--give it a try and you'll see what I mean), visualize the white-light energy dissipating them, just as you did when we started on the clearing of personal space. Be willing to let them be too much to deal with in one sitting--sometimes deep issues can be overwhelming. (Note: most of us know if we have serious issues. DO find a qualified counselor or medical professional to work with. Energy work, especially on your own, shouldn't be a substitute for professional help on physical, mental, and emotional issues.)

Continuing the list-o-gemstones: good gemstones to work with for the 3rd chakra include citrine, amber (not actually a stone; amber is a resin), topaz, and again, tiger's eye. My personal favorite is citrine for this work, but amber is also excellent for helping increase personal power.

If your 3rd chakra issues are related to over-powering, and you find yourself downsizing the chakra in your visualization, adding water to your environment, adding tonglen meditation, volunteering in settings that help you exercise compassion...all excellent ways to help bring that into balance. Also recognize if the over-powering is related to fear. Clearing and balancing this, along with the other two lower chakras, can help heal this life imbalance considerable.

The more I think about the chakras as I'm posting these, the more I'm conscious that we're just scratching the surface here. If you have any questions about a particular chakra, feel free to post them in the comments or email me privately at conscioussanity@gmail.com.


Have an amazing and blessed day!

Second chakra: you, me, and everyone else

The second, or sacral, chakra is an interesting power seat. I was thinking of it especially yesterday while doing some work and having the TV on in the background to one of those shows about hoarding.

Now, you wouldn't think the sacral chakra would relate to hoarding--after all, it's the root chakra that connects us to our "stuff." But a lot of the people I see on these shows aren't suffering from lack of "stuff" (or, more accurately, they aren't suffering from a fear of a lack of stuff). I'm sure that plays in to a lot of people's experiences, but one thing I've noticed when I've run across these examples: many, many times the stuff is filling a hole in their emotional lives.

Emotional balance is connected to the clear functioning of most if not all of the chakras, true. But a particular role is played by both the heart chakra and the sacral. The sacral chakra connects to the root, and it's sitll sort of fixed in the physical world. Part of what it does is govern how we relate to others through physical expression--sex, especially. But on a larger level, it's about intimacy and whether we allow it, or put up walls--and one of the things that stood out for me with these hoarders was they collected stuff to avoid intimacy. Things couldn't leave them like people did. Although none of them ever said it, I suspect it provided a physical barrier to keep people from getting too close--they couldn't bring people into their homes, often they couldn't sleep in the same bed as their partner, they didn't eat meals as a family. I'd be willing to bet that a look at their second chakra, even more than their first, would show a dingy, misshapen mess of energy.

The second chakra is located in the lower belly. In our rainbow ladder, it's associated with the color orange. Unless your energy is pretty clear--and sometimes even if it is--working on second chakra issues can bring up some difficult stuff. Can't maintain a healthy long-term relationship? Odds are good that working on this chakra will bring those issues up. It'll bring up your addictions, whatever they are--at least in the sense that you'll find yourself confronting the "why" of them (addictions, in the end, are simply those things that we put and keep between ourselves and life--not just alcohol or drugs, but addiction to convenience, to food, to coffee, to bad relationships, etc). It's useful to start off this work with a prayer to your deity of choice, spirit guides, what-have-you that the clearing of these issues be gentle.

Many authors seem to equate the 2nd chakra to sexuality only. I disagree. I think that sexuality is one expression of a willingess for intimacy, and that intimacy is more in line with 2nd chakra energies. Intimacy, after all, requires strength and the willingness to be vulnerable. Note that this chakra is not about love per se--that's related to the heart chakra. It's really connected to our willingness to be emotionally open, to be vulnerable, to be intimate in a physical way. True intimacy cannot be achieved without love (so few things can), and so I think we find heart chakra imbalances almost any time we find imbalances in any of the chakras (more on that when we get to the heart chakra). Regardless, when we're talking about second chakra issues, we've almost invariably got to include the fact that we're still very physical with this chakra, so there's almost always a physical expression of an emotional or psychological issue. Weight issues, when related to intimacy or fear of it, are frequently related to the 2nd chakra, although things that start out here could also then turn into habits that might be impacting the 3rd chakra (yes, it can get a little complicated--aren't we amazing beings?).

For now, though, we'll focus on very simple clearing for the 2nd chakra. Remember, when we get through the first seven chakras, we'll circle back to some of these clearing techniques and I'll do a post on some other ways to clear them.

You can use the same visualization techniques for this chakra as you did for the root. Light trance, look down your spine, look for the orange, etc. You might also check in on your root chakra at the same time. A friend turned me on to using tangerine quartz as an aid to second chakra work--again, if you can, use four pieces, one to each side of you, as you do this meditation. You can also use tiger's eye, amber, or carnelian. Try placing your hand on your belly as you do the visualization and pay attention to any physical sensations, like warmth. To me, 2nd chakra issues involve both serpent and jaguar levels of seeing. (Which we'll touch in on in the next series of posts after the intro to chakras).

Have an amazing, blessed day!

The root of it

Just in case you aren't familiar with the chakra system, here's a quick explanation: chakras delineate areas of, shall we say, more intense energy concentration. Everything is energy, connected by a flow of energy, and chakras are sort of like train stations, where energy of a particular type is concentrated and from where it primarily stems. We usually refer to chakras as though they are completely within our bodies, but a) there are chakras located completely outside our physical form, b) there are chakras not specifically residing in or around humans and c) just like that train station, the chakras have openings of sorts that allow energy to flow into and out of the world around us. Literally, this is where things can get messy.

There are a lot of chakras of importance, and we're going to start with the 7 most familiar ones, all located within the human body and primarily engaged for most of us in helping us deal with the day-to-day. The first, base, or root, chakra is roughly located at the base of the spine. It is concerned with matters of survival, and as such, the Incan shamans would equate it with the level of seeing with the serpent (I promise, one day soon we'll get into the four levels of seeing): it's really about "who am I in the world" -- the psychological component of this is "do I deserve to be in the world" -- food, shelter, clothing, physical safety, etc. Off balance, it can result in poverty or fear-driven greed, constant fear of physical harm, being a bully, and so forth. In a sense, it doesn't matter how it manifests in your life because your goal is to keep that energy clear and flowing under all circumstances and in all settings anyway.

One simple way to clear the energy of a chakra (we'll get into more complex ways after we cover all the physical body chakras) is through visualization. Imagine the chakras as a rainbow ladder: the root chakra is the first rung, and the associated color is red. To use visualization to clear this chakra, go into a light trance, and if you like, increase your connection by first visualizing your body filled with the white light of your spirit energy. Imagine you are looking directly down your spine (I find this rather easier to visualize than working from, say, a ground level view!). Right around your tailbone you should see a red ball of energy. Spend a few moments paying attention to it--its color, its size, its shape. Now imagine it perfectly round, clear red, and spinning smoothly. If it seems too large, like you have an over-focus one way or another on survival issues (this can include being too generous, too), feel free to shrink it. If it seems too small, like the Grinch's heart (or heart chakra, perhaps?), breathe into it, rather like a balloon. When it reaches "just right" in all ways, or a point you are comfortable with, hold that image for a few moments, then take a deep breath and open your eyes.

Over the next several days after doing this exercise, I do encourage you to pay particular attention to what is going on in your physical / survival reality. Remember our comfort zones are often ready to reach out and pull us back from our progress. If you are not familiar with chakra work, you'll want to repeat this frequently. If your chakras are reasonably in order, not so much. You can also augment the clearing and strengthening by setting root-chakra oriented gemstones around you -- an ideal number would be four, one to each side of you during your meditation. Some good ones are garnet, tourmalinated quartz, onyx, obsidian (especially snowflake obsidian), ruby (raw rubies are inexpensive and easy to find at metaphysical shops), or smoky quartz. Try with and without the stones and pay attention to their effects to find what works best for you. And, of course, you can always use clear quartz. If any of this makes you feel unsettled and ungrounded, go ahead and take a minute to do some grounding (see my earlier post on this for ideas).

You may want to keep a journal associated with your energy work so that weeks, months (or even just days) from now, you can look at how things are changing.

Doing it all at once

I feel like I've been bouncing around on the blog lately, trying to touch on this topic and that. Problem is, there's just so much to talk about, and I get on one topic and then start thinking I'm missing things. I think I'll just have to let it flow and get better at tagging so you can find what you need, when you get around to needing it.

Here's the thing. Or one of the things. There are a lot of pieces and parts that go into creating a life of purpose, and into creating a life of spiritual purpose and evolution. At its core, it's about the awareness of where you are, and what your part of the big picture is. It requires a willingness to examine your life, and to move on -- no "analysis paralysis." So even as I jump from clearing space to dreams to the other topics currently on my list, even as I think "wow, this is scattered," I realize they're all pieces of creating this life.

It is, in fact, all about the energy. It's about finding the vision, holding the vision, and getting rid of the things in your life--stuff, obligations, karma, people, whatever--that keep you from your vision.

It does NOT require you to go into seclusion in a mountain monastery (tempting as that might sound!); it doesn't require you to give away all your possessions and take up the life of a holy fool, or even a purposeful nomad--although that works beautifully for those people whose purpose that is.

All it requires is attention to detail, and THAT holds a lot of facets. So over the next several weeks, as we look at all the different kinds of energy, I'm going to try to be willing to go deeper into a given topic for several days running--hopefully you'll find it interesting; eventually, we'll move onto something else.

Tomorrow I'm going to go back to personal energy. We've touched some on clearing personal space (that is, your own energy) as well as the energy of your personal environment (that is, your house!), but I want to dig in a bit more into personal energy and spend several days looking at the chakra system.