Letting go of the person you used to be

I’ve mentioned this before, and I’m sure I’ll mention it again, but a huge component of change is remembering to let it happen.


Change, by the way, is inevitable. If it’s involuntary (or someone else’s idea), resisting it can be downright painful.

But a lot of times we resist changing even when we say that’s what we want, and sometimes the resistance is almost unconscious. We simply forget to let go of the person we used to be.

For example, as noted yesterday, you might have an intention of living love. But there’s this little part of you that is either afraid or … well, afraid to actually love (tomorrow: trust). So we fall back in the habit of judgment, as though being critical protects us. Take the homeless person begging for change on the corner. When I started tonglen practice, I found this was an easy place for me to start, although it got tougher when I stopped making up stories about why he was there. Regardless, many of us find it safer to judge him for being there. Not necessarily negatively—judgment is just another word for making up stories.

At any rate, remembering to practice, just as with any other change, involves letting go of the person who didn’t practice. Getting up at 5:30 in the morning to write involves letting go of the person who slept until seven. Quitting smoking means letting go of being the person who reaches for a cigarette.

And so forth.

One practice to bring in here is to consciously let go of that person with a breath. Acknowledge that at this moment, you might want to be that person, but you don’t have to be. Acknowledge that you aren’t the same person you were ten years ago (no one is), and then release being the person you were five minutes ago.

Expansion = love

If you practice, and then pay attention, you can feel your heart expanding.


Yup. Just like the Grinch.

It’s a neat trick, and I highly recommend it. It starts by actively practicing love, and actively practicing joy, which I will admit can be tough sometimes. Feel free to start with the easy moments and work your way up to the tough ones.

Aside from having to remember to practice (more on this tomorrow), this is far easier than it sounds, though. Active love and active joy involve taking time to step back and find those things in ordinary circumstances. It also means taking time to step back and release—or simply fail to attach to—those moments that don’t promote love and joy.

Instead, attach to expansiveness. Not in the sense that it becomes an addiction, because therein lies a danger of attaching instead to repelling those things that fall the other way, but rather in the sense that you automatically seek the expansiveness, inclusive of love, joy, and compassion, in every moment.

Love is expansive. Remember your tonglen practice—we breathe in that which is tight, painful, anguished; we breathe out the space of love, which feels like space, feels expansive and glowing. In the hardest of circumstances, in the most mundane of tensions, in the most ordinary exhaustion, we can still take a single breath that begins to turn things around. But…the practice isn’t in order to turn things around. The practice is to bring all of those experiences into our practice of experiencing life as love. In other words, we don’t do this for an external goal (if I practice breathing love and expansiveness into everything, my life will become problem-free), we do it because the goal (in this case) is the practice of love—and trust me, your life won’t suddenly become problem-free! I’ve found, though, that when problems arise, they’re a lot less stressful, which is an excellent bonus.

Weekend practice: back to synchronicity

What happens when synchronicity doesn't pan out? That is, you have this intention, or this desire, or even a big fat clue, and seemingly synchronous events are happening, and they aren't going anywhere? Now what? You're meeting people, ideas are popping, suggestions are flowing in from multiple sources, and ....nothing.


You know what? I'm not going to tell you what I think. I'm going to ask you what YOU think.

When stuff starts glowing

Saturday's major synchronicity—and this relates directly to yesterday's closing paragraph—was this: I was reading a book, and, because I'm in the middle of three on similar topics, I don't remember which one it was...something by Sanaya Roman. An exercise in this book had to do with imagining yourself infused with light, and imagining the objects around you infused with the same light. Then I went off to teach dream interpretation. I got to my location and because I was a little early, checked my Twitter feed. There was a tweet by Marianne Williamson (@marwilliamson—in case you want to follow her) suggesting imagining this same practice: infusing objects around you with light as a daily practice, throughout the day. Looks like I'm on to something. Today (I admit, this is Sunday), Hiro Boga (@hiroboga), as I'm checking to make sure I have Marianne Williamson's Twitter ID correct, is tweeting about letting your soul's presence radiate...which is also key to this practice that I've been doing. Huh. I follow these two brilliant women on Twitter for very different reasons, although the reason I'm drawn to them out of all the choices is much the same, so when they're talking about two angles of the same thing I'm investigating through someone completely different....I'm listening.


And looking to see what glows in resonance.

Resonance and synchronicity

Events update: don't forget, In Your Dreams is tonight at 7pm at 1412 Trovillion in Winter Park. Email me if you need parking information.


An event: a meeting, a piece of information, an option, an idea that is synchronous has a sort of energy about it. If you've seen the movie version of Celestine Prophecy, you may remember the scenes where things start glowing as the hero is drawn to the synchronicities that further his intentions. As a rule, when you're walking around town, you probably aren't going to see things lighting up (but see tomorrow's post), and when you're looking for synchronicities, you're paying attention to a lot of different things: instinct pulling you strongly in one direction, even though you'd planned to do something else; a chance sentence in an overheard conversation that makes you listen a little harder; dreams that seem important, even if you can't put your finger on why.

Imagine that that energy is radiating just a bit stronger because it's resonating with your intention. So whether you see it or feel it, you're tapping in because—well, I was going to compare it to a telephone that's on a party line, but then I feel old...so let's go with a search engine. You type in what you're looking for, and results are returned, the most relevant ones (or at least the ones the search engine THINKS are the most relevant) at the top. That's synchronicity (although in this case, it's manufactured synchronicity. True synchronicity would be getting a search result that gives you an answer to a question you didn't think you'd get from a computer search engine.).

On a deeper level, synchronicity brings to us events, people, ideas, and suggestions that answer bigger questions (like: why am I here, what's my soul purpose, how can I heal?) because while intention may be involved, these bigger questions relate to soul purpose, and thus the answers resonate on a soul level.

Resonance, not rejection

Several years ago, reading Jack Canfield's Success Principles, I came across this gem of advice: there is no such thing as rejection.


Sure. How does that work, again?

Well, if I remember Canfield's proposition correctly, the idea is this: we ask someone for a favor, or we ask someone on a date, or we send off that treasured manuscript or ask for advice about putting into practice a fabulous idea that will change the world (if we only knew what to do with it!), or what-have-you. And we get a 'no.' Even if it isn't accompanied by hysterical laughter, it might as well be. We're crushed. (Most of us are. Or we've been there at least once. Or we simply don't care what others think, in which case we're probably undiagnosed sociopaths and have another set of problems. Everyone's got issues. But I digress.) The thing is, we get that 'no' and we feel like we've lost something, but Canfield points out that you can't lose something you never had, so when you present the idea or invitation, the only thing 'no' does is keep you from moving forward in the way you imagined at exactly that time with that person.

Okay. I guess that works. Kind of hard to keep in mind, though, when your brain is spinning with multiple voicings of the word 'but.'

Last week, several of us were discussing our visions and how we were bringing them into being at the latest CFES meetup. One of our group had given us a visual that reflected how soul resonance might work—how we're drawn to people who resonate with us, and perhaps we merge our paths for a time, or maybe we're drawn to people for just a moment, before going on our separate ways.

And it hit me: if we can hold a vision of soul resonance, of understanding that we're drawn to each other for different times and different reasons, how might that change our feelings of being rejected, of lack, of loss? Imagine being so in touch with your soul's purpose, that you recognize that there is also purpose in every action, every meeting—and that "rejection" is just a sign that your soul isn't resonating with that person, that action. It may be that what you are doing or feeling or seeking is exactly right, but the timing isn't lining up just so, or the other people involved are resonating at a frequency that's just slightly off balance from you...so you can appreciate what is, instead of needing it to be all-important, or needing it to be what you originally thought it was.

This week's practice: acting on synchronicity

A couple of weeks ago, a friend suggested I take a particular action in regards to my interest in soul families: in essence, asking to attract more of my soul family into my daily life, and seeing what happened. It didn't occur to me until this past Saturday that several things that came into my life over the past week or ten days were directly related to the nature of my request. Because what happened isn't really the point, suffice it to say that I had a couple of resources fall into my lap, met a couple of really interesting people, and found some new practices and insights into how we can manifest our vision of the world that is becoming into the world that is.


So....now what?

Happens a lot, doesn't it? A synchronous event occurs, we are aware of it, and...we let it drop, because while the idea of synchronicity is really cool, there are any number of reasons to let it go. We're afraid to talk to that person we've run into three times in the past week (especially if we don't know them!), we hesitate to ask for a favor or the support that could result in the resources to act on the opportunity that's clearly knocking, we're afraid that...well, we're afraid. Of looking foolish, of being wrong, of all sorts of things. Sometimes, we just don't know what the next step is.

This week's practice, for me, is to find a way to move forward, even if it's the smallest of baby steps.

This week's practice: miracles

This week's practice: miracles. Noticing them, accepting them.

But what's a miracle? And how do you see them? Do you see them only when they're big and obvious, and happening to someone else? Or somewhere else? What I'm getting at is this: do you only see miracles as an observer (and I don't mean observer in the Buddhist sense), and if you see them when they're engaging you, what do they involve? Money? Lucky escapes?

I think that when we look for miracles, we may or may not see more of them, but by bringing awareness to what we think are miracles, we may find out something about ourselves in the process.

I'm taking a page out of a friend's book (so to speak) and starting a 100 day miracle project. One miracle a day expected and noted (I have a miraculous Moleskine notebook set aside for this project).

But inquiring minds want to know: what do you see as a miracle?

Accepting uncertainty: taking it off the cushion

One of the things we learn through meditation is how to sit with change. Thoughts arise and float away. Aches and pains arise, and then disappear when we release the discomfort and come back to the breath. Nothing is permanent.


Accepting impermanence, off the cushion, we're able to step back from conversations (with ourselves or others) and situations and breathe into the fact that they aren't permanent either. Even if you're stuck in traffic on I-4 at rush hour and it feels that way. We come back to the breath, and observe as the emotions we're holding release, and the situation becomes fluid. It does that, even if we try to hold on to it.

Accepting impermanence off the cushion—that is, that impermanence is the state whether we're meditating or not—we then can recognize that uncertainty is a part of impermanence.

Accepting that uncertainty is part of impermanence, we can accept it as part of the dharma—the practice off the cushion—and we can ease into NOT having to have a road map for every thing we're doing. We can accept that there's this "yes, do this" from Divine Source, and that we may not know every bit of how it's going to play out just now.

Accepting Power

So what happens when we are told we CAN do something?


A lot of people react more positively to negative attention: that is, tell them they cannot do something and they'll try everything they can think of, and then invent more ways, to prove you wrong. Right now, that's not who (or what) I'm talking about. I'm talking about those times you, in meditation, contemplation, or prayer, get a resounding "yes," and then proceed to prove the Divine wrong.

This happens less when we're looking for an answer to a question we can—and probably already have—logically answer, and more when we're being asked to break out of our current paradigm and shift into someone we don't think we've ever been before: a healer, a leader, a teacher (without a lesson plan), an artist (a writer!) who changes lives and changes reality. It's not necessarily a question of self-esteem, although it certainly can be. I think it's deeper than that: it's the idea that we don't think we're anyone special or significant and that making those kinds of changes requires that we be so.

Again, this may not be an issue of self-esteem: you may consider yourself absolutely brilliant at any number of things except this one thing you've been called to. So when you feel that yearning to do something, you reject the first things that come to mind because they're not practical, or you think you're not psychic enough, or trained enough, or have enough training, or enough spiritual practice, or whatever. And when you meditate, you hear "this is right," and then immediately react with "I'm making this up." (I am the queen of thinking I've made stuff up, so I know whereof I write.)

But this week, we're practicing acceptance. Don't bother trying to talk yourself into it. Just accept it. Now what?

This week's practice: acceptance

Note: scroll down to Sept. 2 post for upcoming events

It seems like a lot of the discussion around the idea of "acceptance" focuses on accepting the negative: obstacles, "no," etc. The idea in most people's minds seems to be that we need help going with the flow when it (the flow) isn't going the way of our expectations. Which is often true.


But that's not what I'm talking about here—or at least, not entirely.

What about accepting what we say we want, but aren't at all sure we can have (or deserve to have)?

When I was teaching Practical Magic (visualization class), I would tell my students that my first rule of manifestation was to be careful what you ask for, because you ARE going to get it. The tricky part is recognizing it.

One of the challenges with accepting a "yes" is that it doesn't always fit our expectations, although that's not always because we made assumptions that didn't play out. More often, I think, it's because we never really thought it would happen, and we aren't prepared.

This week's posts will all be about acceptance, so feel free to weigh in with comments here or on the Facebook page whenever you like (www.facebook.com/ConsciousSanity).

Upcoming events

In Your Dreams!

Dreams can be:

Interesting…frustrating…alive…forgotten…confusing…fascinating

This 2+ hour workshop is a highly interactive adventure in exploration and interpretation. We’ll discover the meaning of your dreams (and why those dream books just aren’t much help), dig into ways to consciously explore your dream world, use your dreams for communication with your highest self, get answers to your questions, and more. We’ll also overview the types of dreams, dream purpose, and lucid dreaming. Depending on the number of participants, workshop will run 2 – 2 ½ hours. $20

Two opportunities in September:

Saturday, September 17, 4 pm

Avalon, 1211 Hillcrest, Orlando

Wednesday, September 21, 7pm

1412 Trovillion Ave, Winter Park

(Trovillion is the side street on the south side of ABC Fine Wine & Spirits on 17-92 across from Winter Park Village). If you’ll be attending this one, please RSVP for parking information.

RSVP or questions to Lorena Streeter: conscioussanity@gmail.com

Also, my Tuesday evenings are now booked into the foreseeable future (and I hope you'll join me!). I'll be facilitating a couple of groups at Spiral Circle's Annex (Spiral Circle is on Thornton Ave and Park Lake St--just off Colonial and Mills in Orlando) three Tuesdays each month, at 7 pm. These groups are free to attend, but donations to the cause (aka "love donations") are gratefully accepted.


General info:
2nd and 4th Tuesdays: Central Florida Energy Shift Meetup. Exploring the changes our world is currently experiencing, and how we make conscious, spirit-based, changes toward that vision—whatever your vision is—of the “future.” Topics change, and I'll keep them updated here.Once I figure out a good way to do it, upcoming events will appear on the sidebar. 7 pm

1st Tuesday: Dreaming into being. Creating conscious change in our lives and the world through dreams, spiritual journeys and our own energy systems (including the chakras). Topics will change each month. 7pm

Specifically, the next few look like this:
September 13 and 27: Central Florida Energy Shift (CFES) Meetup: What is your vision for our evolving world? How are you bringing it into being in your own life?

October 4: Dreaming into being. What are you dreaming? Dream interpretation and practice with conscious dreaming.

If you have any questions, email me at conscioussanity@gmail.com.

Forgiveness, part III

Note: (yes, I know, I should just put this over on the side) I am not a therapist, nor a health professional. I am a meditation teacher, Reiki master, and energy worker, and I focus on spiritual blocks. I do know that spiritual shifts/energy shifts can result in physical and emotional healing, but not in all cases (for a variety of reasons). Do not use any of the information I give you as a substitute for consulting with a health professional (physical or mental), social services professional, or law enforcement when appropriate. Re the present topic, it means that yes, if that cute guy you met at that party who offered you a ride home raped you, or the next door neighbor's teenaged daughter killed your dog, call the cops. Forgive, but prosecute.


Okay, where were we?

How do we forgive? And how do we know when we've forgiven? We recognize forgiveness when we realize there's no emotional attachment to the injury.

That is what forgiveness feels like: no emotional attachment. We simply aren't angry any more, or hurt, no matter how hard we try.

Let me just say this: if the wound is raw, you might need to do some other healing before you start on the path to forgiveness. In fact, it's likely that you'll experience the two on alternating days—a little healing leading to a little forgiveness, etc. Healing creates objectivity and the ability to be loving and compassionate (because you have the strength to be vulnerable all over again), and that gives you the strength to forgive, and forgiveness gives you space to breathe. I don't suggest trying to forgive no matter what—I think you have to do it when you're ready: when your brain says "I'm not a victim," and you're almost as mad at yourself for letting it still get to you.

I think there are about three steps to forgiveness—which isn't to say you can just check them off. Sometimes you'll find you need a lot of time (or maybe only a little) for each one, and you'll need meditation, contemplation, prayer, and imagination to do them. Forgiveness is frequently active (sometimes you'll find that you forgave something without even thinking about it, just through other things you're doing. Remember, you recognize it when you realize there is no emotional attachment to the injury. Can't even call your ex a sonofabitch and mean it.) There are other things that masquerade as forgiveness, of course, but it's up to you to decide: I trust you to be working on shifting out of old patterns and into new, or you wouldn't be here.

So here are the basic steps to active forgiveness:

• Realizing that forgiveness is not the same as agreement. Forgiveness stands on its own, and is not something you need to feel guilty about, no matter how heinous the offense or how unrepentant the perpetrator. Got nothing to do with either of them. This is about you healing.

• Realizing that everyone is doing the best they know how to do. Doesn't matter if you think they should have done it differently, should have been more enlightened, should have known you weren't the bad guy, shouldn't have taken out their pain on you. It's important to know that whatever they did wasn't about you—it was about them. Whatever the karma involved, whatever the complicating factors, if your husband beat you, it wasn't because you were a bad wife (even if you were). If your parents tied you to a radiator, it wasn't because you were a uncontrollable hooligan, even if you were (and that was the only way they knew to restrain you and keep you safe). If your mother's new boyfriend raped you when you were 13, it wasn't because you were a tramp. If your dad yelled at you for not cleaning your room, if the bullies at school beat you up for being different (however they defined it), it wasn't because of anything you did – it was because something (and not necessarily you) triggered a core of pain in them, and they were either striking out or walling up to protect themselves. By the way, it's also important to realize that you, too, were and are doing the best you knew how. The process works both ways.

• Letting go. Walk away from it. This is the part that probably takes the most meditation and prayer. Releasing your part (whatever you feel about having "caused" whatever happened) and releasing their part from you (it wasn't about you, it was about them). I admit, this is the part where I feel like the scientist in front of the blackboard where in the middle of the equation appear the words "here, a miracle happens." What I know is that when you practice letting go, eventually it happens.



Practicing letting go Our mind and body are marvelously entangled. We can imagine physical changes into being, and we can use physical sensation and action to create energetic and spiritual change. One of the best physical practices for letting go is this: get quiet. Put on some peaceful music if it helps, but it isn't necessary. Make yourself comfortable and if you want, close your eyes. Bring up a picture of the hurt you're trying to forgive. Don't dwell on it—that can just strengthen the tie, which is NOT the point. Simply hold the picture and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel: anger, hurt, fear, pain. Find the place in your body where that emotion is being held (frequently the chest, which is the seat of grief). You're likely to experience hot and tight as the primary physical sensations—like you're holding back tears, perhaps. Whatever the feeling is and wherever it is, the release is very simple: breathe into this spot. Imagine that the in breath goes directly to this place. On the out breath, relax. Imagine that with each breath out you have a little more room for the breathing. If you need to cry, do. If you're willing, dig a little—what are you feeling NOW? Perhaps over time anger has changed to grief, and you've spent years battling the wrong emotion. Perhaps you've already let go, and were just carrying around the memory. Do this as long as necessary. When you get up, wash your hands and drink some water to help seal off the breaking of those ties. In fact, if it helps, you can imagine ropes around whatever part of your body that hurts, and each breath in and out weakens (and finally breaks) those ties.

The art (and value) of forgiveness, part II

But how does this happen? Well, I can't say, exactly, what triggers complete forgiveness except practice. For me, every act of forgiveness has been a one-off. I can let go of some things--most things--immediately. Deeper wounds exist for all of us, though, unless we've already gone through the process or are somehow blessed beyond the norm. It has been part of our human experience. But the point at which I know I've released it (whatever it is) is when it crosses my mind, and I can't conjure up the pain. The process, to one degree or another, involves giving love and compassion--not just to that person, but to myself, and to others--the nice thing about compassion and love is that feeling them toward one person aids you in feeling them to all.


But .... okay, let's take a really tough example: a child who grew up in foster care under the worst possible circumstances. This was not my experience, so I freely admit I'm imagining how bad it can be. I can also imagine how hard it could be to forgive all the people who may have hurt that child--from the parent who abandoned them, to all the people who weren't there to do what adults are supposed to do (protect, nurture, model, etc), to all the people who WERE there, and the things they did. Wow. How do you forgive that?

I think, perhaps, you start with realizing that forgiveness is NOT the same as saying that what happened was okay, or had a purpose, or was a lesson you asked to learn, or anything like that. You do have to get to a place where you understand that, like it or not, everyone is doing the best they know how to do. Really. But you don't have to agree with their actions, and you certainly don't have to condone them. Nor, as I mentioned earlier, is there any inherent need to confront the person you're trying to forgive, or to try to make them feel better. In fact, maybe part of your process includes a career choice that changes that scenario so it doesn't hurt anyone else.

At its heart, whatever the process includes, forgiveness embraces both selfishness and unselfishness at the same time. Selfish, because forgiveness is about YOU. It's about you moving on, releasing the weight of the pain, giving yourself the opportunity to NOT be a victim. Failing to forgive is all about claiming victimhood. Kind of makes you cringe when you view it that way, doesn't it?

Unselfish, because to do it, you have to embrace compassion and understanding. As you release the weight of the past from you, you're also releasing THEM from it. This may or may not matter—one lesson I learned during a particularly difficult forgiveness process was that the other person may not realize there's anything to forgive. And that's when you realize that the need to confront may be less about forgiveness than it is about ego. If you can let go first of the need to let the other person know you forgive them, that's huge as well. And if that realization brings up anger, go ahead and sit with the anger. Sit with whatever feelings come up. But sit with purpose.



(to be continued with what comes next)

The art of forgiveness, part I

The more I thought about last night's Facebook comment (on the Conscious Sanity page), the more I felt like I needed to expand it. The post was this: Thinking about forgiveness today, and how new people coming into our lives sometimes give us a chance to heal old wounds by allowing us to address situations without the same emotional baggage.

Or, at any rate, we can allow them to. So part of this, perhaps, is the value of meditation, and becoming present in other ways. But back to forgiveness....

If you are used to holding on too tightly, forgiveness can be challenging. Sometimes it can feel like you're being a victim all over again, just thinking about it (a sure sign you haven't forgiven or let go of anything!). Sometimes, something truly horrible happened--even if it was only an instant in time; sometimes it was something that went on for years--and it can feel like forgiveness means, somehow, that the behavior was okay.

None of the above. Forgiveness is an act of compassion toward yourself, as well as the other person. And I think that when we set ourselves on a course of becoming present in our lives, of opening up, that we close down in a hurry when something happens to remind us of how we hurt in the past. So when we feel that we need to figure out this forgiveness thing, it's a sign that we're healing on a deep level, because we're saying it's time to let go of that, too--if we only could figure out how! Too, the things that need forgiven vary widely from person to person--perhaps the act to be forgiven was something like a parent who demanded you choose a particular career. To one person (probably someone who didn't have that demand made), that may not be important. To the person who found their soul's purpose at odds with their life for decades on end, it's huge, and mixed up with a boat load of other emotions, including the need to forgive oneself for "giving in."

Sometimes, forgiving cannot include the words "I forgive you," either because the person is unavailable, or because you just don't want to be face to face with them. I disagree with the premise that you must somehow get the words out (such as in a letter). In fact, I think the words are unnecessary, although if you feel they are absolutely necessary for you, then by all means use them. But forgiving is a release, and I think release is NOT triggered, or completed, by facing down someone you don't want to face. What does trigger or complete it is a simple letting go of the emotional baggage you've been carrying, and turning the energy toward something more useful to you at this time. Certainly the pain and anger were useful to you once, but if you're thinking about it and struggling with how to forgive, you're ready to let go.

To be continued....but for now, consider this: when someone or something comes into your life in the present, do you react as you've always reacted? Or can you take a moment and a step back, and ask yourself if perhaps they're there for your healing?

Letting go of control

Those of you who've read CP will recognize this issue in the 4th insight--the one about our "control dramas." But I want to take a big step away from that. In other words, don't forget everything you've read, but consider that it might not be THE game changer. It's not really about HOW you want to control things, rather THAT you want to control them. It's hard, and it's scary, to give up control sometimes, especially when it comes to walking away from an argument, or a dream....


It's because we think we're right. Of course we do. NO one really walks around saying "I'm going to win this argument, because I'm wrong." (Okay, maybe some people do, but we're talking about in semi-enlightened moments, here.) We think we're right, and we think our vision is right, and so we want people to see things our way. Doesn't matter, really, if it's an argument with our lover or an argument with an opposing political or cultural view. (You think you tolerate everyone and everything? Give it a try. $10 says less than 10 minutes gets you to something that punches a control button.) I don't know that this necessarily is a bad thing. I think that often, people who claim that truth is relative and everyone's point of view should carry equal weight are kidding themselves about how they really see the world. (The Dalai Lama and a few others may be an exception to this rule.) However, this isn't really the point. As I said above, it's not about how we want to be in control, but about THAT we do...and how do we walk away from that with our sense of self intact?

This is one reason we practice awareness, and we practice being connected to Source.

Being in control keeps us from being present. When we're worried about being in control, we're staying a step ahead of the game, watching our flank, whatever (sorry, ran out of sports and war metaphors there). What we're less likely to be doing is being in the now, with whatever/whoever is there. We're less likely to be processing, more likely to be reacting, relying on what used to be, rather than what is. We practice awareness on the cushion, but also in ordinary times, so that when the stressful moments hit, we have better success at stepping back and out of the drama.

Realizing that you are always connected, practicing that connection so that you are more aware and attuned, is key to releasing control. When we are aware that we are connected to Source, we can draw on the energy of that connection and we do not need to maintain our sense of self by being in control. We can allow things to be perfect just as they are, rather than as we'd like them to be, because WE DON'T LOSE.

Being able to let go of being in control also opens us to the awareness of other options. When we don't have to hang on to our marriage at all costs, when we don't have to be right all the time, we have room to let someone else—such as Source—be right, and point us in a direction we hadn't considered (remember, obstacles may be—pardon the cheesy comparison—turn signals. Sometimes "no" is a great thing.). Make sense? If there is divine purpose to our lives, and if we have purpose and plans (for lack of a better word) beyond the physical, and we realize we have chosen a physical existence for a reason, then how can we say that the physical reality we face—including our knowledge of what's best for us—is all there is?

Note: this is NOT blaming the victim, nor do I believe "it was God's will" is an answer. All I'm saying is that when we cling to control, we miss the opportunities in front of us, whether they're for growth, for energy shifting, or for options in our physical reality we might not be paying attention to. Just a thought.

Talk to your plants

Here's an energy practice for you that pays off in sheer beauty: talk to your plants. If you need to, buy something you aren't afraid you'll kill, and talk to it. Tell it how beautiful it is. Spend time appreciating the shades of green in its leaves (or barrel, if you are talking to, say, a saguaro). If you have zero time or space for a plant, find a tree in the neighborhood, or a park (it's an energy worker's adopt-a-tree program). Hug it, talk to it, feed it energy. Make a habit of it and pay attention to the flow of energy as it grows.

To strengthen the flow (this would be the energy feeding part): if you are practiced at energy work, use whatever method works for you. If you're new to it, try this exercise: hold your hands in a semi-cupped position a couple of inches away from the plant, your palms facing the plant. Imagine (which draws into being) that you, yourself, have roots--yours made of energy--and branches, and that these draw Source (Source being another word for God, however you see the Divine) energy into your body. Like blood flowing through your veins into every part of your body, this Divine energy moves through you and concentrates in your hands. As you do this, you may feel heat or tingling--don't worry, this is perfect. Even if you don't feel or see anything, the energy IS moving. If you want practice seeing or feeling the energy, you can build your visualization skills by practicing seeing it (close your eyes and just imagine your hands are glowing....what does that look like?). Now feel/see that energy creating a wave of lovely light moving from you to the plant. You need only do this for a few minutes at most, then allow/see/feel the energy dissipating back to you and your "normal" energy levels. You might also wash your hands when you're done (water will break the energy bond) and eat/drink something to make sure you are grounded when you are finished. You should not feel lightheaded or anything of the sort--but if you are, some fruit or bread and water will take care of that (of course, take your own personal dietary needs into account when grounding from any and all energy work. You can also eat some light protein--egg or yogurt or fish.)

If you have any questions about your practice, or concerns about technique, grounding, or anything else, feel free to email me at conscioussanity@gmail.com.

High Anxiety: everything's all right....

Where's Mel Brooks when you need him? (Assuming I'm remembering the association correctly--I didn't look!)

It seems like it's getting crazier every day, and some days it's a challenge to find the nuggets of grace we want to build onto. Or maybe just cling to desperately, depending on whether you're riding the maelstrom or watching from the shore. Key practices these days: metta, tonglen, open heart meditations. But also simple awareness, stepping back from the edge and not buying the drama. Taking a moment to see where we REALLY are, and working with/from that. Love. Lots of love.

"Whatever we're doing could be done with one intention. That intention is that we want to wake up, we want to ripen our compassion and we want to ripen our ability to let go. We want to realize our connection with all beings." (Pema Chodron)

All that. And we want to be awake and aware and loving and healing in the world, not just on the cushion (so much easier there, isn't it?).

So here are a couple of practices for the weekend. 1st practice. With all the anxiety and struggle going on right now, we want to start moving that energy into another dimension or level. Let's call it "creating grace" or "creating space." Pick something--preferably something you have an emotional tie to, whether it's something that irritates you on the news or next door, or an issue you've been avoiding resolving in your own life. Get quiet, stilling the energy around you with some deep breathing. Allow yourself to imagine that whatever it is, JUST AS IT IS, it's exactly as you wanted it to be. This is not visualizing an outcome you like--this is, frankly, a non-attachment exercise. JUST AS IT IS, it's okay. Probably the best way is to simply hold the thought, emotion, image in your mind and breathe into it until you feel your body relax and loosen. Then continue breathing/relaxing into, while you see the beauty in the situation--the relationship, the person who's screaming about all the wrong things, whatever. Breathe into it, love and lean into until it's glowing.

2nd practice: raising grace (there's a book title in here, somewhere, isn't there?): Find something that brings you peace, no matter what. For me, Tibetan prayer flags. You just know when you see them, that good things are happening. For you, maybe it's a piece of music, or a sapce to be in (park, etc.). Whatever it is, spend some time there, letting yourself fill with peace and the way it expands your lungs and loosens your muscles.

Have a great weekend--and let me know your experiences with this practice!

PS Conscious Sanity fan page now up on Facebook. No page name yet, but just search for Conscious Sanity....

Energy

If you could get a big enough microscope, you’d realize that there is a point of resolution at which you’d be essentially unable to determine where my hand ended and yours began, if we were touching. A bit bigger, and you’d see that the lines are blurred even when we’re standing several feet apart. And so on. Air, breath, is constantly cycling. Unless you’re living in a hermetically sealed chamber, it’s more likely than not that every breath you take is an exchange of air with someone else.


This is not to freak anyone out, or even to rephrase the spiritual note about how we’re all one. Rather, I want to focus on the fact that the reason that at some point, those physical boundaries disappear is that what we call “matter” (and what the indigenous peoples of various cultures, including the Laika of Peru, would remark as “frozen light” or “really dense light”) is mostly energy. Some force we don’t entirely understand holds it all together in shapes we recognize as our living room furniture or our best friends.

(Note: I’m watching Ghost Hunters while I’m typing this, which is lending an interesting perspective to my internal discussion on energy!) So with all this energy organizing around us, why do we find it so hard to accept that energy can be perceived, shifted, transformed? Even when we experience it with our most common (five) physical senses, we have a hard time believing it. Even with scientific (tested, and retested) validation…it must be a trick, right?

Spoonbending may be an impractical display, but what if awareness and focused attention brought healing, extra energy, or some other desirable consequence to living beings? Energy healers/workers send energy to the plants in their gardens (perhaps supplemented with quartz crystals buried in the soil); Reiki healers channel unprecedented healings to humans and animals. We accept miracles, why not accept that energy can be shifted to intentionally create those miracles?

One thing we know is that we can measure energy—we can measure the electromagnetic fields; we recognize that some people have emfs that are just wonky—these are the people who can’t run a laptop on battery and might as well leave their watches at home.

Another step in shifting perception and energy away from the physical and into the broader spirit is to concentrate on sensing/observing the energy of all beings. If you aren’t sure about trying to do this with your physical senses, start with your instincts: we have all know someone who either attracts or repels us to the point where we are instantly aware of them when they walk into a room. We can sense when someone is watching us from across a room. And so forth. This is just another form of energy sensing, so if you are familiar with this, it’s a good place to start. Begin by just noticing when you notice it, then practice noticing (you’re noticing it more easily when those energies are stronger. Practicing noticing will increase your sensitivity to less forceful energy emanations.

Shifting from physical

No, I’m not going to teach you to disappear. Even if I could (you would be more talented than I if that happened!), a blog post probably isn’t the best teaching tool for that.


Actually, what I’m talking about is shifting perception away from the structure of your physical reality—your everyday life, in other words—into a bigger picture.

I’m really combining two different processes here, but I think they mesh. We talked recently about the physical perception level, where we’re caught up in questions of survival: shelter, food, clothing, security—or as I described to my nephew during a trip to Gatorland one day, assessing for two things: dinner, or danger (eat or be eaten). Very limiting, in terms of energy. When your attention is focused on the job (or more particularly, the paycheck), doing chores, keeping the car running, etc—even including a limited (in contrast to limitless) commitment to your spiritual growth, the big picture is hard to take in.

We are at a time in our spiritual / energy evolution where we have to take in the bigger picture—if only to get through the rapidly changing physical world with some degree of clarity, but more importantly where it helps us not get stuck in one perception of what “reality ought to be.” Any time you can step back from whatever is going on in your world and take a bigger view of it, do. Shifting energy requires that we pull back from our focus on our physical surroundings, physical reality. This is the first step.

We often look at the events in our lives (or in the news) as though they’ve never happened before…and sometimes this is true. For example, take the current wave of events in the middle east. When in history have we seen this kind of sweeping change? It’s fairly clear that the events are impacted by our current state of technology, among other things, and in addition, they’re happening at a time when spiritual energy is shifting and accelerating. It would be easy to limit our understanding to a short-term historical context, but what if we look at it in the bigger picture of human evolution? What happens then? And since I’m hypersensitive to source (not Source, in this case!), I should note that among others, both James Redfield in the Celestine Prophecy (1992) and Barbara Hand Clow in The Mayan Code (2007) have spoken of this broader view of human evolution—not simply our historical or technological evolution should be taken into account, of course, but those are fairly simple examples to wrap your brain around.

PS and of course this is not to give you license to ignore your physical reality: eat good food, drink pure water, see to your health needs, etc.